"Quit BROthering us."

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Dirk couldn't have been more embarrassed by the surprising turn-up his brother decided to make. Jake couldn't have been more weirded out, and Dave, well he just looked around. His heart pounded in his chest as he lied his eyes upon Jake and Dirk smiling together. Dirk's smile was something he hadn't seen in a while. It was white, heartful and full of other emotions.

"Sorry to intrude, little dude, but I'm really sorry for shit, y'know. What's happening?" Dave sheepishly said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Dirk gave his elder brother a cold stare and looked to the side. He sighed.

Jake looked at Dirk, then at Dave.

"I should get going, I knew you wouldn't want to see me anywa-" Bro was interrupted.

"We could actually use an adult's opinion on something, chap, so please stay." Jake smiled, showing off his green puppy dog eyes. "Tea?"

Dave shortly admired Jake's forest green eyes before placing his blond ass on the sofa, beside his grumpy brother. Dirk gave him another blunt look.

"Not trying to hit on your boyfriend, but his puppy dog eyes are too puppy dog eyes, you feel me? Is he a fucking furry?," Dave whispered, winking, "No thanks, English is it?"

Jake nodded, sitting down beside Dirk. "He's not my boyfriend, by the way." Dirk murmured.

"So, what did you need my adult opinion for?" 

~

"Aranea, what a l9vely surprise. Why did y9u call f9r assistance, assistance 9n what particularly?" Kankri smiled as he allowed the Serket to step inside.

As she entered, Karkat walked down the hall, glaring at her and slowly walking away as he saw his brother turn around. Kankri simply rolled his eyes, closing the door gently as Aranea took off her shoes and politely left them at the front door, making herself at home as she entered the living room, only to stop in the doorway.

"You didn't tell me you had company, Kankri," She raised her eyebrows, signally for the guest to piss off just as Kankri walked up behind her (somehow not noticing her actions).

"Is that a pr96lem? If it is, y9u d9 realise it c9uld p9tentially tr-" Kankri was interrupted by an annoyed female. 

"-trigger them, etc. etc. I know, and sorry for interrupting, I just need to talk to you privately." Aranea cleared her throat, therefore Cronus got up, shrugging. Kankri mouthed an '9h'.

"You got an hour, Serket," He glared at Aranea, yet his look softened as he turned to Kankri, who he then proceeded to kiss him on the lips passionately, "See you soon, babe." 

Kankri blushed, apologising for Cronus's behaviour as he heard the front door close. He sat down on the couch in front of him, patting the space next to him, fiddling with his sweater.

"Kankri, how you you feel a8out persuading your 8oyfriend to throw party of the year this year, 8eings as the circumstances with poor, poor Meenah..." She frowned. Cronus wasn't a big fan of Aranea after finding out she dated Kankri and Jake at the same time, therefore he didn't like to have her hanging around his boyfriend.

Kankri's eyebrows raised. Cronus wouldn't be happy, but poor Meenah would want the party to go on, right? He would do it for her and hope she gets better in time for it. Maybe not, depending on the date, of course. "Oh a6s9lutely, Aranea! Anything f9r Meenah, since she's ill." He coughed. "9r, well, anything f9r Meenah at anytime, haha."

"I know you aren't fond of her, 8ut please, Kankri, for her, if not, for me?" She flirted, causing Kankri to shuffle back. "Right, uh, sorry... I just-"

"Y9u kn9w I will never have the same spark f9r y9u after what y9u did t9 me and Jake. I h9nestly d9n't care, well I d9, if he br9ke Meenah's neck, 6ecause y9u played b9th 9f us, s9 please d9 n9t try and flirt y9ur way t9 whatever y9u want. I find it highly triggering that y9u w9uld even-"

Cronus peeked around the corner. He never left; he could never leave Kankri and Aranea alone in the same room because she'd try something with him. And oh boy did she.

Aranea smooched Kankri, placing her hand on his right cheek and forcefully smudging her blue lipstick on his lips.

SMACK.

Cronus's hand flew down and smacked Aranea dead in the side of the head, pushing her off of Kankri with force. She was pinned up against the wall in the next second, with Kankri tumbling back into the coffee table with a loud sob exiting his mouth.

"CR9NUS I'M S9, S9, S9 S9RRY, I DIDN'T MEAN T9-" Kankri stopped himself as terrible cusses flew out of his boyfriend's mouth at the poor woman he held against the hard wall.

A couple of thuds were heard from the hallway, then thuds from outside the room, then inside the room. It was the angry, no, FURIOUS younger brother of Kankri, Karkat.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN GOING ON DOWN HERE?" He screamed, staring at the scene before him. "THIS LOOKS LIKE KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS GONE WRONG; KANYE HAS FINALLY GONE BATSHIT CRAZY AND TIED KIM TO THE WALL AS KHLOÉ JUST WATCHES." 

Cronus stared at the younger Vantas, his eyebrows furrowing as he shook his head, "Karkat, this, this 8ITCH thought it vwould be a good idea to snog my Kanny vwithout his permission, OR MINE." He spat, clenching Aranea's shoulders as she squealed in pain.

Kankri panicked, grabbing his phone out and scrolling through his contacts and texting the first person he clicked on.

KANKRI: HELP, PLEASE; CR9NUS IS H9LDING ARANEA AGAINST THE WALL BECAUSE SHE KISSED ME, Y9U HAVE T9 C9ME AND HELP AS I AM UNSURE 9F WHAT T9 D9 WITH9UT TRIGGERING S9ME9NE!

ROXY: srsly??

ROXY: IM COMING TO UR RESUCE DO NOT WORRY KANKREEM

ROXY: *recuse *kankri 

ROXY: *rescuse

ROXY: *ah fuck it im coming dw

KANKRI: THANK Y9U!

ROXY: wait

ROXY: where do yuo live?

ROXY: im not even going to correct tht

~

"So you basically want me to print out 413 posters of a picture Aranea was embarrassed about that she sent you?" Dave raised a dark-haired eyebrow at the goofy brunette in front of him, "At least round it up to 420."

"Whatever you wish, Mr Strider, as long as they're printed by the time I go back to school, anything is spiffing!" Jake smirked.

BLEEP.

"Guys? Apparently, Aranea is being held against a wall by Cronus-" Dirk said as he read the text message he received from Roxy.


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