"The Jock and The Nerd always get together." DIRKJAKE HIGHSCHOOL AU

"Looking Good is The Best Revenge"

"Revenge...?" Roxy frowned, peering at Jane with a twinkle of redemption in her hazel eyes, "Janey, you don't really wanna hurt Jake that bad do you?" She felt bad. If this was what Aranea was going to be like, she didn't really want to hang out with her. Despite the rotten thing Jake did to her bestie, it shouldn't end like this. It should be like every Disney movie ever and have a happy ending. Jane turned to Roxy.

"After everything he did to me, after he led me on like that you're going to tell me he doesn't deserve the slightest bit of revenge. Come on, Roxy, lighten up, it'll be a 'friendly' joke, " Crocker smiled, "Nothing that'll scar him for life, or whatever." Aranea gulped.

"You guys didn't wanna go that far? Ok," She rolled her eyes, "Right, I suppose something that could get him 8ack with his original gang and to stay away from you and the Dirk kid would count as revenge, no?" Jane and Roxy looked at each other, Roxy sighed sadly while Jane just smiled the smallest bit, nodding. "It's settled. I'll sort it all out, for now, 8ut I'll need your help later."

~~

"Blimey. I really didn't mean to use Jane as an excuse like that, but she's considered hanging with the lady friend of Meenah's. Did I really cock up that badly? Deary me, I do still apologise greatly, chap. Ever since I came along I made the greatest boner in the history of all boners. I now have to eat a humble pie and live with such embarrassing and terrible mistakes I made." Jake pouted.

"Woah, English," Dirk sighed, "Firstly, you've done it and you can't redo it. If Jane's a good enough woman, no matter how much you hurt her, she'll forget the past and befriend you once again. Secondly, this is the 21st century, please don't use the word 'boner' in place of a stupid error. It makes you seem ridiculous and old." Strider patted his best friend's back, eventually slipping his arm around his shoulder. "Hey, you get to go back to school in like 4 days or whatever, and when Meenah gets back in about three weeks after, you get another 25 days off."

Jake looked pale. "School," His eyebrows were furrowed and he gulped, "Everyone will look down on me and will think of me as a disgrace-"

"I won't. I'll chill with you and if anyone tries to hurt you or anything, I'll be there. Got it?"

Suddenly, warmth. Dirk was enveloped with a loving, snuggly hug from his best friend who wept thank you's from the bottom of his heart. Strider was overcome with the feeling he'd felt for Jake mysteriously for the past couple of weeks. Love.

"You're the finest bro a man could ask for." Jake smiled.

RING RING. RING RING. RING RI- "Excuse me for a moment, Jake."

English's smile dropped momentarily, allowing his arms to return to his side. Dirk got up, wandering out to the kitchen. Jake sneakily listened in.

"Hey-" Dirk paused, "WOAH, WOAH, ROLAL, CALM. What do you mean, what's settled?"

"ARANEA'S PLAN TO, LIKE, TOTALLY RUIN JAKEY."

"Shit. You gotta tell me, come on, Rox, I knew you weren't with her."

"I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU, BUT ARANEA WON'T TELL ME OR JANE. THE FUCK DO I DO?"

"GOD DAMMIT. Ugh, damn... Roxy don't worry; I'll sort it."

BEEP.

Jake looked at Dirk with an unhappy face as he walked back in the room. The entire atmosphere was unsettling and depressing. So many problems to resolve and all because Jake decided to hang with the lovable and magnetic Strider. If only he hadn't mingled with the other people in his school, none of this would have happened. Jake wouldn't be confused about his sexuality, he wouldn't be being smacked down by other's judgement and boosted along by his anger.

"Sounds ba-" Jake was interrupted. 

"It's fucking terrible. Aranea won't give Rox or Jane a single clue to what she's planning." Dirk placed a hand on his forehead, slapping it hard in frustration. "I'll stand by your side, still."

Displaying that sort of heart showed how loyal Dirk could get. He was princely and had a big heart. The Prince of Heart. Sums him up pretty well.

~~

"Look man, I know we don't get along, but we gotta talk about Dirk," Dave sighed, grabbing Lil' Cal by his small gloved hands, "I feel bad I'm not in tune with him these days, but I gotta know what he's getting up to, you feel me? I don't want the kid goin' off and doin' drugs or nothin' like that. I hope he's doing good instead of drugs. He tells you all the crazy shit he does, and you see him fapping and all that, right? Sure, maybe he doesn't bring you to school, but he chats with you at night, right? What does he say? Does he talk about me? Does he still love me?" He blinked, "Fuck. I'm going insane talking to a fucking puppet now. I swear Dirk is storing some sort of liquid-gas cocaine inside of you." The elder Strider placed his brother's possessed doll down. Okay, maybe he wasn't possessed, but he was really fucking creepy. "Psh, I never bothered about Dirk before, so why now? I mean the kid's angry at me, no use in bothering him any longer, 'uh?"

Five minutes later, Dave found himself on the 'Find My iPhone' app, attempting to track down his brother. Annnnddd... BOOM! Success. "Rosen Avenue, hm? 'Kay."

~~

"Good doing 8usiness with you ladies," Aranea grinned, "See you later!" She abandoned Jane and Roxy, fleeing from the scene quickly and stealthy like a criminal. However, was she fleeing from the crime scene or running to it?

~~

Jake sighed, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, as he looked at Dirk. Dirk returned the gaze. He gave a slight eyebrow raise, as if to say, "something interesting you, English." And, my, my, was 'something'.

"Why do you wear those bizarre bloody shaded specs of yours both indoors and out? Surely you should adjust your eyes to this second home of yours, no?" Jake. Stop trying to flirt your way into seeing Dirk's eyes.

"Jaaake, let's not talk about my eyes OR my shades. Please, dude?" Dirk whined but smiled. Jake nodded, shuffling closer to his best friend.

*KNOCK KNOCK*