🔻Chapter 10 - It's back🔻

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by thequiet_1

by thequiet_1

**Jamie's POV**

Today it is Monday once again, and I had only just walked into the cafeteria when I was slammed into a table, causing those sat on that table, to jump and turn their heads.

"Look girls!" Screeched Vanessa. "It's Jamie the fatso!" Her followers laughed so hard one of them snorted, that caused her to get a glare.

"What do you want Vanessa?" I said quietly, afraid of what she'd do.

"I told you to stay away from Jace! But your still with him, so I need you to back off, cause he's mine!" She growled inspecting her bright red nails.

"Oh really? He's never mentioned you." I replied, shocking both me and her.

"You liar! I bet he has, you just weren't listening!" She huffed angrily. In the corner of my eye, I could see the 5 boys enter the cafeteria.

"I'm actually a great listener and that's probably why, he hangs out with me and not you." I stayed, before trying to walk away and not cause an even bigger scene, but someone grabbed my ponytail and dragged me back. "OW!"

"YOU BITCH!" Vanessa screamed. "JACE LOVES ME! NOT YOU! GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD!"

"No, he doesn't love you," I spoke with disgust. That's when I noticed the boys making their way over to us, but I waved them off. This was my fight not theirs.

"Liar! He loves me! Who is better than me anyway? You? You don't honestly think that you would stand a chance. He would never be with someone like you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked genuinely curious, before closing my mouth tightly, not realising that in the next few seconds my secrets would be revealed.

(⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE AFFECTED BY THIS)

"Because, you look like something you scrape of the bottom of your shoes. You can't keep to your own god damn buisness. You're nothing but a boyfriend stealer. Also you're fat. Humongous actually, I wonder if that was why you stopped eating? Starving yourself and cutting your dirty little wrists. Your such a stupid fatty and no one will ever love you, because you'll never be perfect like me!" She stated and then ended cheerfully. "Now be a good girl and go stick your fingers down your throat like you usually do."

After her terrible speech, all I could do was run, straight to the girls bathroom. I raced into the nearest stall and locked the door, before I dropped to my knees before leaning over the toilet and sticking two fingers down my throat, making myself be throw up all the things I'd eaten today.

Doing exactly what Vanessa had suggested, I felt completely hopelessly weak. I had done so well, I've been clean for 3 years, 3 years! And I just ruined it all over some stupid words words, but it felt good. It shouldn't, but it did. It felt great.

It's back.

(TRIGGER WARNING OVER. YOU CAN KEEP READING NOW)

I leaned back against the wall beside the toilet and weakly reached up to flush the toilet. Standing up and dusting off my jeans, I unlocked the stall, before making my way over to the mirrors - above the sinks - making sure I looked normal and not liked I'd just thrown up my guts. Other than my red eyes and slightly bad breath, I deemed my appearance appropriate.

Finally, I turned and left the bathroom, only to come face to face with 5 guys - who in the last week I have become very close too.

"Hey guys!" My voice cracked making me cringe. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise. Are you ok?" Jace asked, looking down at me worriedly. I just stayed quiet. "You know Vanessa's wrong." I looked up at him slightly, confused. "Your perfect. In everyway." Suddenly, I felt lightheaded and fell forwards into Jace's muscular arms, letting silent tears slide down my face and soak into his shirt. "Your ok. Everything's gonna be ok." He whispered, stroking my hair, and soon 4 other sets of arms joined his.

But everything's not gonna be ok. I needed one little speech like Vanessa's to push me over the edge and it did. Now it's started, I won't be able to stop. And no one can find out, It's all just going to be one big secret. A secret no one can find out about.

***

It is now Friday and I've just got changed into my clothes, which consists of some black leggings and one of my brothers jumpers, from his year of college, before he quit to join the army. Once again not bothering with any make up, I shoved on my black Nike trainers and set off for school.

I have been setting off later to school, so no body else is in the house when I am. In this short time to myself - before school - I do what I have to do to become skinny and then go downstairs grab my bag and a water bottle, then make my way to school.

It's only been 4 days since, I started up again and I already seem to be slimming down quickly. I'm still not very comfortable with myself and so I carry on with my dirty little secret.

Upon arriving at school, I feel like my sense of smell and sight has heightened, because now everywhere I look I see foods or smell them. This is one of the downsides to my weight loosing process, as late comers to school always bring breakfasts with them.

Pinching myself to stay on track, I begin to walk over to the group of 5 guys, including my neighbor Jace who I have become very attached to in the past week.

********************************

Hi quick note here. This chapter happens to real people. Not technically everything but bullying happens. This makes people take drastic measures, such as not eating and throwing up.

It may feel good but it's not. Don't do it, even if it's not you, tell someone, get help. No one should go through this alone. Please don't do this, if not for you but those around you. Your family, friends and others who need you around. Many will not read this message but please it's important, don't harm yourself.

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