Together In A&E {Casualty}

Chapter Twelve

A/N - This is a slightly dark chapter.

Warnings - Mentions of abuse and self-harm.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"No!"
Ainsley woke with a scream. She had another bad dream. She began shaking. "Ains, calm down babe."
"No! Iain, he's on me again! Get him off me. Please," Ainsley sobbed.
"Shh babe. I'm here," Iain said. He had to straddle her to calm her down. She was uncontroable. "Baby, calm down. Please."

Eventually, she calmed down. She and Iain went for a glass of water. "I'm sorry," Ainsley mumbled. She looked at him. "It hurts so much," she sobbed.
"It gets better baby. I promise."

The next morning came, Ainsley hadn't slept at all. "Go and get some sleep. I'll take the kids into the crèche."
"I can't sleep. It hurts too much," Ainsley sobbed. She looked at him. "I'm such a failure. I ruin everything."

Iain had taken the kids to the ED crèche. Ainsley stayed home alone. She was sitting alone in the living room. There was a banging at the door. Immediately, Ainsley began panicking.

She walked into the kitchen and saw someone staring at her through a mask. She screamed as loud as she could. The person opened the door. He grabbed a knife and got Ainsley's arm. She was too shocked and scared to move. The person carved a word into her arm - 'Tom'

The person left and Ainsley broke down. She sat against the back door and cried. She couldn't move. The blood poured down her. She didn't care. She was nothing.

Ainsley looked down at her arm. She saw the blood had dried and she saw the word Tom. She began clawing at her arms to make the word disappear.

Blood oozed out of her. She knew she was getting blood everywhere. She didn't care or even want to do anything. Ainsley wanted it all to stop. She wanted to die.

X-X-X
Iain was worrying about Ainsley. Cal came over to him. "Where's Ainsley today? I wanna have the kids," Cal said.
"She's at home. She hasn't slept at all," Iain said.
"Is she alright?"
"She'll be fine."

Cal walked off. Iain tried to call Ainsley. Her phone was turned off so he thought she was asleep. 

Cal was worried. He went over to the house. He couldn't get in. He tried ringing again. He heard the phone going and Ainsley shouting go away. He went around the back door.

Cal went inside and seen Ainsley crying in the floor. There was blood everywhere.
"Ainsley," cal said. Ainsley cried. Cal seen her arms clawed. He took her upstairs and got her cuts cleaned up. Ainsley said nothing. She stared into space.
"Get out," Ainsley whispered.
"No."
Ainsley looked at him. "Get out!" She begged.

Cal left when he sorted out Ainsley's arms. Ainsley locked the doors and blocked the windows up so no one could see her.

Ainsley crawled into the living room. She sat by the fire. She wanted to end it all. She hated herself. She laid on the floor by the fire and watched it flicker. She smiled. She fell asleep.

Cal went to the ED and told Iain what had happened. Iain told cal to keep the kids. Iain went home and seen Ainsley asleep by the fire. He put a blanket over her. He got himself a cup of coffee and sat on the sofa. He didn't want to move her. He sat and watched her sleep. He wanted to help her

Cal went to tell Connie about what he had saw at Ainsley's. "We need to talk."
"About what?"
"Ainsley. She's self-destructing," Cal said.

Ainsley woke up again screaming. "Get off me! I don't want this!" She yelled.
"Woah. Calm down babe. It's just me."
"No, Iain. Please! Get him away please," she begged.

Connie pulled up outside Ainsley's house. She had Grace and a few others with her. "When we go in, Ainsley will be in a very bad way. Don't say anything to upset her," Connie said.

They went inside and heard Ainsley screaming and begging. "GET OFF ME!"
Iain held her until she realised it was him holding her. She cuddled into him.

Connie went in with Grace, Sam, Cal and the kids. Ainsley didn't look at them. She gripped Iain's hand.

They talked to her but didn't know if Ainsley was really listening. She was but she didn't want to believe she was ill. "Sweetie, why did you carve Tom into your arm?" Connie asked.
"I-I didn't!"
Connie sighed. "Ainsley, you've already clawed at yourself. What's to stop you from carving a name into your skin?"
Ainsley screamed which scared the kids. "I didn't do this! Please believe me," Ainsley sobbed.

Ainsley went upstairs to her bedroom. She broke down crying. Ainsley looked at herself in the mirror and threw a perfume bottle. She hated her reflection.
He went upstairs to her. He opened the door. Ainsley was in hysterics.
"I didn't do this," she said.
"I know you didn't," he replied.
"Can we please run away?" she asked. He nodded.
"Tonight," he said. She agreed. They went downstairs.

They all tried to talk to Ainsley but this time she wasn't listening. All she could think about was the chance to get away.

Ainsley cried in bed. She wanted to die. "Ainsley?"
"Go away."
Ainsley hid her head. She cried even more. "Come on darling. It's mum."

Iain sat with the kids. Madi was on Sam's lap. "I want to live with you daddy. Mummy too upset," Madi said.
Sam couldn't believe what Madi said. Neither could Iain or Cal.
"She's ill," Sam explained.
"No!" Madi screamed.

Ainsley let Connie in. She held her tightly.
"Shh," Connie said. Ainsley cried into her.
"I didn't do anything," Ainsley sobbed.
"I know darling. It will get better," Connie said.
"Oh."

Madi ran to her room. She began packing her stuff. "I running way," she whispered.
"Madison, you're staying here," Sam said.
"No. Pease daddy. I no want mummy to be sad," Madi cried.

Ainsley went downstairs to the fire. Everyone was watching. "You all think I'm messed up don't you?"
"You're not," Cal said.
Ainsley didn't say anything. She just watched the fire. Cal sat down with her. Sam and Iain had gone out with Connie to take the kids out.
"You could get a tattoo over that. That way the words won't show," Cal said. Ainsley smiled slightly.

Ainsley and Cal began discussing a tattoo she could get. Cal smiled and kissed the top of her head.
"You're beautiful. You don't deserve any of this," cal said.
"You don't deserve PTSD either."
Cal smiled slightly. "Everything will be alright. We'll be fine."
"Really?"
Cal nodded and kissed her head again.

Ainsley went to look for tattoos. "I don't know which one I want."
"Get anyone," Cal said. He kissed her on the lips lightly. He pulled away. "Sorry."
"Don't be."
Ainsley smiled at him. Cal smiled. Ainsley kissed his lips lightly.
"You're a good man Cal," she said. "I want you to come with me to get the tattoo."

Ainsley decided on a stay strong tattoo with birds on it. They booked tomorrow morning to get it done.
"They're trying to get Tom arrested again," Ainsley mumbled.
"You need to get the police to watch the house."

Ainsley and Cal were cuddled up. Ainsley went to kiss him. Before their lips touched, there was an explosion...