Dear Jack (Visual Story)

Chapter Nineteen

Tyler

I didn't know what to do. A part of me wanted to chase her, to force her to stop and listen, but the last time I forced my hand it hadn't ended well.

I didn't know if I could take another rejection. I didn't want to feel the way I felt right now all over again.

Maybe we weren't meant to be. Maybe she could never get away from her own past. Maybe I could never take Jack's place.

I stared down at my phone, re-reading all of the texts and trying to figure out what to do next.

I stared at the picture of her scars, cursing them for being what came between us yet again.

Little red lines on her skin, little stupid lines. Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut? I could have found a better way to go about letting her know who I was. I could have done things differently.

I should have done things differently.

Maybe then I wouldn't be here all alone again. Maybe then I wouldn't be contemplating the end again.

Piper didn't love me. I was just a rebound. I was just the person who comforted her while she grieved over her dead fiancé. She could never love me the way she loved him. It had never been in the cards for us.

I scrolled further back, putting together pieces that had never made sense to me before. The guy she tried to help, the one who hurt her, that was me. That was me at the coffee shop that night. I had kissed her and she felt guilty about it.

She felt guilty because she loved someone else.

For gods sake she thought I was a dog. A dog who kept coming back for more and more rejection. Maybe I was a stupid dog.

I had asked myself so many times what it would be like to have both of them together as one girl, and now I knew. Sadly, it wasn't at all like I imagined it.

I threw the phone, cursing aloud at how stupid I had been. Why did she run? Did my not telling her my real name really hurt her that much? It was just a simple lie. It was my name after all, just my middle name. The name no one knew.

I stood, walking to the bathroom to open the small cabinet behind the mirror. With shaking hands I grabbed the last bottle of pills. The last of my stash.

This was it.

If it didn't work this time than I was all out of options.

I tossed it back and forth between my hands, wondering if I really wanted to do this. If I really wanted to go out without a fight.