We Belong Together? (BoyxBoy)

Nineteen

First of all, I'm really very sorry about the late update :/ Yesterday I was too tired to update this as well so yeah, that's why I'm updating it today. Sorry it took me so long you guys >.<

After this updates should return to their normal schedule and updating should be easier, knock on wood. Who knows what life will have in store for me next time -.-'

Do let me know what you think about the chapter, the next one should be up shortly, either today or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, I'm making up for lost time on updates since I'm so behind with this story :/

Hoping you enjoy and that you can forgive me,

-> Desyre

P.S.: The POV's after this will be mixed up, no real order like before.

Daniel

                Sunday before Kyle returned to school again found me on a date with Nate. We had gone out practically every single day for the past week and something, and I had to say that I enjoyed quite a lot my time with Nate. Whenever I was with him we always had fun and I could really push all my worries to the back of my mind and forget about them for a while. We hadn’t done much apart from kissing and going on dates, though. I didn’t know if I was ready for what came after kissing yet, and I didn’t want Nate to think that I only wanted sex from him. Nate hadn’t pushed on that theme, though, and he seemed happy to just kiss for now, so I hope that was alright.

                Today, though, nothing seemed to be able to push my worries away from my mind. Tomorrow Kyle was going to come back to school, which meant I’d see him on a daily basis again, which should’ve been a good thing, but wasn’t. I wasn’t really sure about how I would feel when I saw Kyle again. I had made so much progress during this time, and I wondered if it had to do with the fact that I didn’t have him right there as a constant reminder of how our relationship had ended. I wondered also, how to explain to him what Nate and I had, and not sound like an asshole for getting over him so quickly. I also didn’t know what to do to stop things from getting awkward between Nate and Kyle. It was never a good idea to mix the ex and the current boyfriend, but Kyle was supposed to be my best friend, and I was dating Nate, who I hoped would be my boyfriend at some point, there was just no way to avoid them spending time together.

                There were lots of questions along with doubts and uncertainty buzzing around in my mind, and they all were working together towards getting me a headache of massive proportions. I was just thinking too much and I wanted to stop, I wanted to focus on my time with Nate but how could I, really? I had only seen Kyle that one time when he called me and I went over to his house, other than that I had only managed to talk to him through the phone a couple of times. And whenever he did pick up his phone it was always a quick ten-minute call because he was always busy studying with Paul and he said that he would call me later, which he never did. I had to admit that I couldn’t shake the feeling that Kyle was actually changing me for Paul or something like that, but I always told myself that I was being an idiot. Just because Kyle was spending all his time studying with Paul it didn’t mean that they were together or something. What’s more, even if Kyle did like Paul that way, Paul was straight. There was just no way they would ever get together. I just hoped that Kyle wasn’t falling for Paul or making up illusions about there ever being something between them. Paul was straight after all, and even if I defended him when I talked about him with Nate I didn’t love him or anything, I just didn’t judge him.

                I pulled back into the present when the waiter came with our drinks, I thanked him and told him to be along later because we still hadn’t decided what we would be having. I chided myself and looked at the menu, telling myself to stop thinking about stuff I couldn’t do anything about and focus in the present. I looked across the table at Nate and saw him with the menu up, like he was reading it but a faraway look on his face. What was he always thinking about? Nate was always thinking, always worrying about stuff, but whenever I asked he always avoided the question or told me something else to get me to leave him alone. I had to wonder about that. If we were dating why didn’t he trust me enough to tell what he was thinking? Was he happy with me? Did he really like me or was he just feeling grateful for everything I had done for him? Were his feelings real or was he just tagging along? What would I do if we got to the point where we were supposed to sleep together? I wasn’t sure that I was ready to do that. Kyle’s phobia of sex had done a number on my confidence. I didn’t want to hurt him but I was a virgin and I didn’t know how to avoid that. Granted, I had done a lot of research, but what I knew, I knew in theory not in practice, and it was practice that mattered here. For the first time in my life I cursed myself for being the long term type of guy. Because of that I was almost 18 and had next to no experience when it came to actual intercourse.