You Stole My Heart With Your Diamond Blue Eyes (Kellic)

Chapter 8

finally got 1,000 reads bless all nations ily guys ok 

warnings: triggering thoughts

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[Kellin's POV]

Never in a million years did I think I would be in the position I was in right now. Vic was sitting on me, holding me down while trying to get himself together. I had no idea what to think at this point, I thought Vic hated me more than anything. Why did he just try to save me, and why is he putting in this much effort into making sure I don't do it?

You see, for the past 20 minutes or so, I've been thrashing and wriggling around, trying to get Vic off of me. He managed to stay put and hold me down while crying steady tears, much like I still am. God knows why he's doing this, I just wish he'd let me go and leave. He doesn't need me, nobody does.

"Just please.. Let me do thi-is." I choked out in a sob. I was so tired of fighting to break free if his hold, and so I just gave up. Falling limp under him with another sob.

"No, you can't do this. Your life is too valuable to throw away like this." Vic reasoned with me. It just made me down right angry, he didn't know me or how I felt at all.

"My life is too valuable?! You're kidding right? Tell me what value me life has, I have no friends, no family, basically no one who cares about me. I-" I was cut off by Vic speaking up again.

"It doesn't matter who cares for you, you should always care for yourself and your wellbeing." This just angered me even more.

"No, shut up. You have no idea how it feels to be like me. I don't think you understand, the one person that actually gave flying fuck about me just gave up on me. I have nothing left to live for anymore, and if you were me, you'd do the same. I can't take anymore, how am I supposed care about myself when no one cares about me?! How do you expect me to keep living like this, in complete and total misery?! I'm not even living anymore, I'm just here. It wouldn't make a difference to you if I was here or not, so why would you make me suffer any longer?" I ranted to him, talking a mile a minute.

I basically just spilled my guts to him, telling him all my reasons for suicide and then some, all this did was make me sob harder. But the thing that really surprised me was he didn't even look phased by what I said, like he's heard it all before. He just stared into my eyes, he stopped crying by now, but they were still watery like they've always been.

"You're right, I don't know how it feels to be like you. But just because you're going through all of this doesn't mean it's not going to get better. I promise you, that things will change for the better sooner or later. I'm not going to let you do this to yourself." He looked away for a split second like he was debating on whether to say something, but looked back at me and continued with a shaky voice. "I know that this might come as a shock to you, but I care. And I'm not letting you leave, you can't." He said as he shed one more tear, his eyes boring into mine.

Seeing Vic so venerable like this scared me, he let his guard down for the first time ever around me. He looked almost as broken as I was, which shocked me. He always had this mask on, never letting his true emotions show. It was so odd to see him like this, but that doesn't make a difference. All this time he's treated me like a piece of shit and all a sudden he cares for me? No, I don't think so. He's lying, and that's not something you lie about.

"Don't act like you care now. All you've been doing since I got here was treating me like you hated me, and now you suddenly care about me?! Don't fucking lie to me!" All of my sorrow and tears was replaced by anger, as I screamed at him and shoved him as hard as I could.

He almost fell off, but he moved down so he was sitting on my thighs to keep me pinned down helplessly. I screamed out in pain from the action.

"Fuck! Get off of me please!" I practically begged him. He moved right away and straddled my hips, looking confused, scared, and concerned all at the same time.