Confusion

Emotionally

R18 chapter

Christian's POV

Its been 3 months since we took Ella to hospital battered and bruised. She had a broken rib, a black eye and buises all over her body. But she was okay she kept telling me. We had 3 months of rehab 3 months of me not letting her out of my sight and 3 months of her silence. She didn't talk about what happened she didn't say a word to me or her brothers and we were worried. She would just say 'I'm ok' but we all knew she wasn't ok.
John and Stace came to visit her often which I disapproved of considering he still clearly liked her. But they had a hidden secret between them of what happened and that frustrated me to no end. She had recovered physically but mentally she was damaged. I saw it and so did her brothers.

Every day for the last month she would ask to go back to work and every day I refused to let her leave the apartment without bodyguards  always with either me or her brothers. But things between us had changed, she didnt have the same glow she had when I first meet her all those months ago, when she dropped to her knees to pick up the paper underneath my seat. She didnt laugh like she use to. She didnt tease me or push my buttons like she use to, she had changed. I'm still angry at her for going there and risking her life for ME, I'm angry that she called her first love the one she lost her virginity too. And that she is still in contact with him. I'm angry I'm frustrated and worst thing is she won't talk to me. I had enough I got in the car and I drove to Dr Harris offce and asked to speak to him
"Mr Willaims what a surprise is everything ok with Ella"?
I hate the way he says my name as a formal greeting but says Ellas name as if they are intimate.
"Shes fine I need to know if she can have sex again, can she handle it emotionally"
"Ahem yes yes of course she can"
"Okay"
I walked out of that office, drove home opened the door.
I walked in everyone from my bodyguards to her brothers to my sister were over. She must of been still in bed because everyone else was in the lounge
"Everyone out"
"Whats going on" Derek asked as he approached me
"I need my apartment back and I need to be alone with Ella so if everyone could leave Now"
"Do you want us to stay" Dwayne questioned
"No I need to be alone with her so just leave"
"Ok ok come one Derek give them sometime to talk, if you need us just call"
I nodded letting him know I understand. When the last person left I locked the door behind them, and I walked to the bedroom. Ella was sitting up looking out the window no more bruises she was fully recovered I know this now.
I climbed on the bed and grabbed hold of her hair from behind and kissed her like I'll never see her again at first she was shocked then she was returning the kiss, it was getting more intense more passionate. I grabbed the blankets and throw them on the floor. I started removing her tshirt then mine and threw them on the floor. I moved back to kiss her and took off her bra and her beautiful breast fell with a bounce, and her pink lush nipples were standing at attention for me. I moved my mouth over them and claimed what was mine. Then I moved my hand to her sweet spot, and massaged her gently she was wet she wanted me just as much as I needed her. I ripped off her pants and undies all in one move, and removed mine in the process we never broke eye contact. Then in one move I entered her and we both moaned at the feeling of comfort and familiarity. I started to move at first slow and deep strokes then I lifted her legs to give me better access to drive deeper into her, god she felt good with her legs in air I started to really push inside her driving into her deep feeling every crest of her around me. She was moaning I watched as her hair spread across the pillow her eyes closing from pure ecstasy.
"Look at me baby"
Her eyes opened and she looked at me
I slowed my pace
"Do you know how angry I am at you baby"
"No" she moan sh*t that sound drove me wild
"You going to find out soon enough"
And then I started to really pound into her I watched her as she moaned and hands tightened around the sheets of the bed. I knew she was close then she screamed my name
"Christian"
I didn't stop I kept pumping harder and faster into her then I bent her knees so on I was over the top of her hip I kissed her with so much force. And I continued to pound her, why did she do this to me, why did she risk herself for me, why did she think she could leave me behind with no explanation WHY
"Christian please"
"What Ella"
"Please stop"
"Why so you can run away again"
It was no longer about making love now it was my way of making sure she doesn't forget what we are.
"Christian please stop please" and then she started crying, and just like that I pulled out of her and held her to me while she just cried. I grabbed the blanket and covered us.
"I'm sorry Christian"
"Why are you sorry Ella"
"I don't know"
"I'm so angry at you, you were going to leave me behind, you put yourself in danger, you called your first boyfriend... who by the way you lost your virginity to, and you bloody won't fucking talk to me, are you sure you don't know why your sorry"
"I.... I it was all my fault why you got taken its always been my fault"
I turned her so she was looking at me
"No its not your bloody fault, that day I was taken I was trying to stop who ever it was that was making threats to your life, then you save mine by taking my place and risking your life. Why were you going to leave me. I thought I told you before you and me were made for each other. If you never came back my life would be over. My life would be non-existent, you are my ever after. I love you Ella."
"I love you to Christian" we kissed and this time it meant the world to me.
"Ella baby I need to know what happened"
"Oh umm..."
"baby its driving me insane not knowing, I don't know how to help you, protect you if you dont talk to me please"
a long silence
"I.... I.... was so scared, I thought I was never going to see you again, when I had to fight to the death I kept thinking if I could just see you one  more time, tell you one more time I love you, and then when I went down I prayed to my parents let me see you one more time. Then when I saw you standing there I thought hes here hes really here... " and then she cried uncontrollably
My poor baby my poor Ella so strong in the face or danger. But so weak emotionally she did all this for me.
"Shhh I've got you now and I will always find you always"
I lay her down, her head on my chest while she just cried
"Its alright baby let it all out"
It was a good 5 mins before I heard her stop.
"Come on baby lets sleep, lets get some rest okay." I stroked her hair and I felt her nod before I felt she was a sleep.
I need to find whoever is doing this to us and stop it. Its no longer her and me its us now and she needs to understand that.
"I love you Ella more than you will ever know"