All I Did Was Help (Zak Bagans Romance) Sequel to "I'm Just Trying To Help".

18. I'm Sorry

AUTHORS NOTE!

*nervous laughter* hehe, hey guys... So, I realise that I have disappeared for the last few months and I am so beyond sorry for that. I've started a new job, full-time, so I'm working 40 hours a week, spending lots of time with my boyfriend and family, and I will also be starting college classes soon! I have tons on my plate but since I will be home more often now I will try my hardest to update more often! There are only a few chapters left in this series then I will be moving on to another; hopefully it will be bigger than this series!

Again, I am so sorry that I left for so long, and I'm so thankful I have such dedicated and amazing supporters like you! Thank you for reading and being so patient with me!

CHAPTER 18 – FINDING MYSELF

Marilyn Anderson

There are three things that I remember from that night. The first is the lights, the blinding lights of the first responders. On seers staring at the lights, trying hard to figure out what was happening around them. What had happened? Was there alcohol involved? Was there some kind of exterior motive? Was he crazy? The commotion around me was drowned out by my own thoughts. Who could have hit Zak, who could have hurt the one man who I have ever loved? Why would he drink and drive?

The second thing I remember is the earth shattering metal-to-metal screech has they pulled the door of Zak's car with a metal claw. The paramedics and the firemen ambushed the car, pulling out a man covered in black, glasses shattered to pieces on his face, blood seeping down his forehead onto his shirt, diappearing into the black abyss.

The third thing I remember is the deathly sound of the sirens, rushing Zak to the hospital. I could only see it in my head, the paramedics keeping his heart going by pushing down on his chest, yelling at each other to push this and give him that. They would cut his shirt open and hope that they could keep him alive in the Vegas traffic just long enough for them to reach the hospital. They could only hope.

-

I awoke the the gentle sounds of a heart monitor. I have been hearing this sound for the past six months. The gentle beeping from the machine letting us know that even though Zak could not walk or talk, he was still alive. The doctors had told his mother that he is in a coma for cercumstances from his accident that I cannot remember unfortunately. Due to the circumstances, I was granted permission from the doctors and Zak's mom to stay in his hospital room until he wakes up. May that be days, months or years. When Zak wakes up I will be by his side, I will be sitting in this room with him, holding his hand, listening to his steady breathing until his blue eyes open and I can tell him how I feel.

A nurse came in then, in the mists of my thoughts, and started checking on Zak, pushing on his torso, checking for bloating or breathing, attempting to make small talk. I wasn't sure what small talk was anymore, I could barely hold a sentence with my best of friends. "Today is the day," She whispered silently to herself, "We can feel it Zak. We miss your voice, today is the day for you to wake up and see us all." I could only hope that it was the case.

I sulked my way down the stairs to the cafeteria, the hospital food was about as good as the canned Ravioli. Processed and old, but it had to make do. I picked out a sad ham and cheese sandwich, a bag of lays bar-b-que potato chips, and a white milk. I paid, then sat down in a corner round table, listing to the soft commotion of the hospital cafeteria.

Hospitals were weird in a way, some people were there for little sad things. Broken arms, broken legs, some kind of viral cold. Some people were here for moderate things, simple surgery, kidney stones, or maybe another kind of cold. Some people were here for happy things, like a baby being born. Others, like me, were here for very sad things, comas, dying people, and terminal. It was a very sad, very weird environment. No matter how much I wanted to ignore it I couldn't.

I've always hated hospitals. How they smelled, looked. In my hometown our hospital was rinky dink and run down. Our doctors were anything but nice, awful at their jobs, and would due quote honestly anything to make a dollar. I remember breaking my leg in elementary school, and I sat in excruciating pain for 4 hours in the waiting room utnil the doctor finally got to me.

I sucked in a breath and took a bite out of my sandwich, yuck, stale. Of course. My hunger got the best of me and I basically inhaled it without thinking twice.

As I popped open my bag of chips, one of Zak's nurses, Emily, walked in, looking very excited. She came over to me, a huge smile on her face.

"Marilyn, we have awesome news!" She squealed, clapping her hands happily as she sat down next to me.

I rose an eyebrow, "What could possibly be awesome news?" I asked, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

She ignored it, "Zak, we have finally seen his blue eyes today."

It took me a second to hear what she said, her voice in one ear and out the other, like every other day. Then I registered it, Zak's eyes were open, Zak was awake. Zak was out of his coma. The nurse this morning checking his vitals was right, today was the day!

I dropped my chip bag without thinking, I stood up, tears already free flowing down my face and sprinted out of the cafeteria, not stopping for anybody or anything. The faster I could get up these stairs to see Zak's smiling face will be the best thing that has happened to me in this past few months.

I finally got up the stairs, down the hall to his room. People were staring, nurses were smiling. Everybody knew who we were, we were the talk of the town when we got here, and we mst now be again.

I pushed open the door, not caring about the "PATIENT DOCTOR MEETING" sign at the door. Zaks doctor was there, sitting in my chair talking quietly if not to wake somebody. Then I saw him, his eyes were still as blue as I remembered, with a hint of red surrounding them, like he had gone to sleep then didn't wake up for weeks. I stared at him, forgetting how to talk, how to breathe, how to move. Finally, Zak's head peeked over at me, his face strained in pain as he turn his head to look at me in whole. A smile formed on his face. He stayed that way before he whispered something that I will never forget.

"I'm sorry for sleeping so long."