The Summer I Went Sailing {L.H}. ~ Book 3

Chapter Twenty-Four

"I'm writing a book." I announce to my family over dinner. 

They all give me somewhat blank expressions. 

"I'm being serious, I'm going to write a book." I insist. 

"Mila, you can barely send a text without getting bored half way through. How are you going to have the attention span to write a book?" My father asks and the rest laugh. 

"It's going to be called 'My Family Doesn't Believe In Me.'" I say sarcastically and they all shut up. 

"Why don't you call it 'I Left My Baby-Daddy In A Different Country And Am Now Technically A Single Mother To Triplets?" Matias suggests and I reach out to swipe him. 

"Or what about... 'My Brother is A Cheeky Little Shit." My mother laughs when I say this. 

"Have you spoken to Luke recently?" My mother asks me as she eats her homemade casserole, which is delicious if I do say so myself. 

"I've spoke to his mum." I take a sip from my glass of water. "She says he's doing okay." 

The truth is, I haven't spoke to Luke since I left. It's nearly Christmas and I know I'm going to have to face up to him at some point when he comes home, but at this precise moment, I'm not. He's on tour and I'm not going to stress him out with my petty whining and demands. I ain't going to be that person. I'm still earning a little money being Lia's therapist, but as of now, I'm financially dependent on my parents. Something I feel a little better about, rather than taking Luke's money. 

Gloria asked if I wanted to move back into what was our apartment, but what was the point? In a short three months there would be three crying babies in her way and I could barely afford the rent anyway. So I was stuck her in my parents house for the next year probably, until I could finally get my feet back on the ground and sort myself out. I was glad I had a family who loved me like they do.

What has my life come to? I'm waiting around for these babies to come, but in the meantime? I'm doing nothing? Maybe I should write a book on the mess that is my life. I can't wait to be a mother, but I'm so fucking scared. I don't know how to parents. You can go to all the classes you want, I can change a diaper with my eyes closed and burp a baby till my hearts content, but it's not the same when they're actually here. And I only have two tits, how the hell am I supposed to breastfeed? Maybe I won't breastfeed? Ugh, there's so many unanswered questions. 

God Mila, give yourself a shake. You don't need Luke to help you, well, you do. But not in a sense that you aren't incapable of doing this by yourself. You can be the best mama in the world if you try. You just need a game plan. That's it! I need a game plan. I'm a registered therapist, if I get a license I could set up my own firm back here in Australia. Or maybe I could set up a charity. I'm getting way ahead of myself here, I need to calm down. But you get the picture. 

What I'm really trying to say is; life is going to throw a shit tonne of surprises at you and although you may not like it, you have to deal with it. It's not what happens to you that defines you, it how you deal with it. I know I'm going to struggle without Luke, hell I miss him so much it feels as though my heart is breaking. But at the same time, I know I made the right decision for both of us. We weren't good for each other, and in order for us move on with our lives, someone needed to cut that tie. Luke and I are forever bonded by these three little humans, but we're no longer bound to each other like we where before. We where so invested in our relationship, that we lost who we where as an individual, and to me that's not something I want to do. 

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Hey guys!
Just a filler chapter there before the real drama comes as the story is nearing the end!
Thank you all for reading and updates will be coming soon!

-ImJustFabu x