The Older Man (BoyxBoy)

Twenty

            At first I thought he didn’t hear me because he took so long to respond but after awhile, almost tentatively, he rolled over on to his back, mouth wide, as he stared at me. Immediately, I looked away. The longer he started at me the harder it was to keep my eyes off of him.

            “Say something and stop looking at me like there’s something wrong with me.” I snapped. It was my nerves, really.

            “I…” Ian’s mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish. “Um. What?”

            Realizing I might have misread the look on his face, I looked a little longer and reexamined it to figure out exactly what he was feeling or thinking. I sensed surprise, disbelief…denial?

            “Did you hear me—I mean did you hear what I said?” I asked him just to make sure.

            “I-I-I…” he stuttered again before he blinked rapidly and answered a little clearer: “I don’t know.”

            My heart started beating faster again. “I love you.”

            He barely smiled. I knew it was because he most likely had a lot of emotions go through him and a lot of thoughts swimming in his mind. He has been telling me he loved me for months with no expectations of hearing it back. Sometimes it would be days when he hadn’t told me he loved me. I would long desperately to hear it and when he finally did it was as if I wasn’t breathing and suddenly I was able to. I could only imagine how he felt.

            “Really?” He asked, his voice sounding so soft and gentle. At the same time the sound was calm and held excitement. His eyes became glossy. The white cleared liquid trembled on the waterline of his eyes before rolling down the side of his face, the right one before the left. Whipping his face with my thumb, I nodded my answer. “It’s good to hear you say that.” His words were whispered and shaky. “I didn’t think it would mean so much to me because I sort of knew.”

            “You did?” I asked. Ian nodded his head and pushed the button to bring the recliner forward. The recliner stopped. Ian crawled off of my lap then held my legs and pulled them towards him until he managed to spread them so that he was between them. As he crawled towards me and his face got closer to mine, the emotions I saw in his eyes and mine stinging painfully but everything I felt and everything I saw reflecting in him felt so much better than the pain.

            “I love you, too.”

            His face began leading towards mine slowly. When our lips touched, my body shivered against his. Instinctively, I brought my arms around his neck as his body descended onto mine. Our kiss was slow and passionate, lips molding and moving as one, the same way our bodies were. Ian managed to get one arm underneath my torso and turned us so that we were face to face on our sides. Our tongues stroked passionately, lips never ceasing to caress. Soon we were wrapped up in each other, legs, arms, lips, tongues…caressing. Slowly, after some time, we detached from each other but only our lips.

            “Love of my life,” Ian said, his warm breath grazing my face. He nuzzled the side of my face. I loved when he did, or nuzzle any part of my body for that that because his scruff would rub against me. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, do you?”

            “Of course I want to spend the rest of my life with me,” I answered, stroking his cheek. I felt his body vibrate as he laughed and the happy sound fulfilled my auditory sense. He bit my earlobe gently, eliciting a surprised gasp, followed by laughing. “Of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you, whether in secrecy or in public. Whatever makes you happy.”