When It All Ends (COMPLETED)

Chapter 18

#WIAE Chapter 18

"Holy f—"

I gave up fighting.

"Bakit?"

"Look!"

"Holy mother of— Tangina."

"Tang ina ka, Jude! Look at this! Mas lalo tayong mapapahamak, tanga ka!"

I laid there, quietly sobbing.

"Shit! Shit! Totoo nga?!"

"Basahin mo 'tong naka-tatoo sa likod niya!"

"In Omnia Paratus. So? Ano ibig sabihin niyan?"

"Tang ina, Jude! Anak nga siya ng Estrella! Shit ka! Family motto nila 'yan!"

Silence. I wanted to sleep.

"Akala ko ba si Oli 'yung nag-iisang anak?!"

"Ano gusto mo?! Tanungin ko pa sa nanay nila kung bakit dalawa ang anak niya?!"

My eyes felt heavy.

"Shit. Ano'ng gagawin natin sa kanya?"

"Hindi pa naman natin nagagalaw."

"Pano pag sinumbong tayo niyan? Patayin na lang kaya natin?"

"Gago! E 'di tayo ang pinatay ng pamilya niyan!"

My head was hurting.

"E ano ngang gagawin natin?!"

"Sino ba kasi ang nag-utos sa 'yo?! Shit ka naman, oh! Ga-graduate na lang tayo at lahat, pinahamak mo pa kami!"

"E ano nga ang gagawin?! Iwan na lang natin dito?!"

"Pano tayo?"

"Di ko alam. Lalabas ba tayo o dito lang? Delikado parehas. Sa loob, patay tayo kay Avo. Sa labas, patay tayo sa Estrella. Shit. Kasalanan mo 'to, Jude! Magpapakamatay ka na lang, dinamay mo pa kami!"

--

I didn't know what exactly happened, but when I opened my eyes, I was alone. I gathered myself and stood up. I picked up my hoodie and wore it.

"Don't cry," I kept on reminding myself. "Don't cry. You're alive. You're strong."

I kept on telling that to myself. I kept on lying. I kept on making myself believe that what happened didn't kill a part of my soul. But it did... there was a part of me that would never recover.

"H-hello, Sandra?"

"Yes, Miss Belinda."

"H-how long c-can you send s-someone over to pick me up?"

"From AdM, Miss Belinda?"

"Yes."

I tried to make my breathing even. My hands were shaking and tears were threatening to fall again. I wiped them before they can even left my eyes. Enough tears, Boe. Tama na.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but your parents—"

"Pick me up and I'll deal with my parents."

"Okay, Miss..."

I ended the call and closed my eyes. My lips were quivering. My chest was tightening. My hands were shaking.

"I will kill you," I said as I looked around me. "I will kill you," I said as tears began dropping.

I saw the wall. I saw the blood.

I will have your lives for what you did to me.

--

When the driver came to pick me up, I ignored his worried stare.

"Miss Belinda, your head is bleeding."

"I know. Let's go home," I said as I got inside the car.

Habang nasa loob ng sasakyan ako, hindi ko pa rin mapigilan iyong galit sa loob ng dibdib ko. I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to make someone feel the pain that I was feeling. I wanted to give them thrice the suffering I was bearing.

"Don't cry," I reminded myself again as I fell asleep.

I was tired.

--

As I entered the house, I instructed the driver to pickup Sandra from the office. Umakyat agad ako papunta sa kwarto ko. I never appreciated the fact that my parents were never around aside from today. They would never know what happened.

I stepped under the shower and began scrubbing myself.

"This never happened," I kept on repeating until my skin felt sore and painful. I scrubbed and scrubbed... na para bang mabubura noon iyong ginawa nila sa akin.

My skin was all red when I was done. I quickly got dressed and covered myself up. Umupo ako sa harap ng dresser at saka sinuklayan iyong buhok ko. Tinignan ko iyong mukha ko sa salamin.

"You will make them pay. And then when they're dead, this never happened."

I couldn't even recognize myself. There was a cut on my forehead and my eyes was sore from crying. There was a bruise forming on my cheek. And there was a cut on the side of my lips when...

They would pay for this.

--

I went down to meet Sandra. She was looking at me, her face impassive. Good. I couldn't deal with pity. I didn't need pity. I needed retribution.

"I'm sorry for making you come here," I said as it was 4 in the morning.

"It's alright, Miss Belinda."

We went to my parents' study. It was my first time going inside this place. I never bothered going here because I had no interest in their work... And I wasn't even supposed to follow their footsteps. That was my brother's role. At least before he was killed.

Habang nakaupo kami, nag-ipon ako ng lakas ng loob para masabi iyong dapat ko sabihin. I wanted to say a lot of things. I wanted to kill them, to torture them, to burn them, to skin them. I wanted to hurt them so bad... But no words came out. Tears did, but I held them.

"I want you to," I said, my breathing ragged. "Find someone named Jude. He's a graduating student... That's all I know." I pursed my lips and forced myself not to break down and cry. "And when you find him, give me a list of picture of his male friends."

She looked at me, her face still stoic.

"Is that all?"

I shook my head.

"When can you give me the list?"

She reached for her bag and brought out her laptop. It had a logo of our family on it.

"Give me a few minutes, Miss Belinda. I'll just access the server of your school, and from there, I will make a short list of the friends of the person you are looking for."

I sat there and closed my eyes... but then decided against it because every time I did, I could picture what happened. I suddenly had the urge to take a shower again and clean myself.

"Miss Belinda, here's a short background about the person you are looking for," Sandra said, as she handed me a piece of paper. Agad kong tinignan iyon at nalukot ko iyong papel nung makita ko iyong mukha nung isa sa mga lalaki na kumuha sa akin kagabi. "He's Jude Nathaniel Andrada, second son of the Andrada Industries. His family is affiliated with The Estrella since 1968, and has been loyal since then. He has 2 sisters, both younger than him, and both studying in Academia de Mondragon. His—"

I cut her off.

"He's currently on the run. Can you find him?" I asked her.

"There's nowhere he can hide from The Estrella, Miss Belinda," she replied. "We will find him and bring him to you. Is that all?"

I shook my head. I was barely starting.