Dear Suicide...

Sometimes...

This is wrong.

This brokenness is wrong.

Why do I feel this way?

I feel such a heavy loneliness.

The weight of it drags me down.

_____________________

Sometimes I feel very skinny; very scrawny.

I wish that I had more weight on me...Just in certain places.

Guys like curvy women, right?

Then, maybe, I'll be appealing, like other girls.
_______________________

Other times, I feel fat.

I wish that I were small and thin.

Guys like skinny women, right?

Then, maybe, I won't look so oddly shaped.
_____________________

Sometimes, I wish that my hair was naturally curly, like other girls; and, that I had darker skin.

Guys like a beautiful, black baby doll, right?

Then, maybe, I won't look so ugly.
______________________

Sometimes, I wish that I had blonde hair and blue eyes.

Then, maybe, I wouldn't feel so inferior while standing next to a person that looked exactly like that.

Then, I'll be pretty, right?
______________________

Sometimes, I wish that I could be somebody other than me.

That I could shed this ugly shell, and evolve into a beautiful woman - One that didn't have so many flaws on her skin that can be pointed out by everyone.

One that didn't have such unfit hair.

One that wasn't such an awkward shape.

Someone else. Not me.

Anyone else but me...