Dear Suicide...

Smoky Soul

Me: "May I have one?"

Soul: "No, you may not."

Me: "But I want one! Can't I just have one cigarette?!"

Soul: "Absolutely not! You know having cigarettes is sinful."

Me: " I need one so badly..."

Soul: "You don't 'need' anything. You're just falling into your tempting desires, that's all."

Me: "Then just let me fall."

Soul: "Your desires are like a cliff: You don't care about them dragging you to the edge...Then they push you off."

Me: "That is not the truth! Desires are natural...It's like I'm almost meant to give in. "

Soul: "It seems that way, but it's just a mind trick. You and your potential are wiser than that."

Me: "I'm just tired. People keep dropping their weight on me. They believe that I have no life, so they drop their weight on the ground. I feel like I'm forced to pick it up and carry it on my back. It seems like something I can escape from, but I can't. I just can't."

Soul: "So this is your outlet? A cigarette?"

Me: "You know I haven't messed with 'em in months; but I still crave 'em."

*Pulls out a cigarette.*

Me: "I keep one...just in case I need it."

Soul: "How come you do things like this?"

Me: "I'm tired of being everyone's walking mat. They just keep wiping their feet on me...as if that's the only thing I'm here for."

Soul: "I really do hope you find your way, darling."

Me: "All I want is to get away."

Soul: "I know you do. Now put that cigarette down, or else you'll get caught."