oblivion - nathan prescott

the weight of living.

Tonight was the first night since I got back at Blackwell that I have spent completely by myself, no interruptions. I laid on my bed with a joint between my lips, the window was open and the only thing I could hear were the crickets chirping and the soft breeze was kissing my bare legs. I was so fucking relaxed. I inhaled the drug and my mind went hazy, I closed my eyes and slowly exhaled. I jumped as my phone buzzed on my desk, I groaned and stood up to go get it,

< Messages (9) Chloe
11:26pm
I can imagine you're awake on a perfect Rachel night like this.
Meet me @ 2 Whales @ 10am.

I smiled at the thought of Rachel on a night like this. This was her favourite time of year, she would call Chloe and I over to her dorm and we would watch horror films and get high together. Everything was so fucking perfect before we fucked up. I felt the tears brim my eyes as I thought of her, I sat back down on my bed and put my head into my hands, fisting at my hair. I pulled it until I began whimpering, my heart climbed into my throat and my face began to heat up. I was so fucking angry at myself, suddenly I was standing up and was punching the wall on the opposite side of the room. Blood started to drip out of my knuckles and down my wrists, I tried to catch my breath but began to choke on my sobs, falling down the wall onto a heap on the ground.
"You fucking killed her," I whispered to myself between tears, "Fucking killed her."

I woke up in the morning with a pounding head, I stood up and tried to collect my thoughts. I looked down at my hands, they were covered in blood and I began to gasp for air,
"You're here, it's now, it's not hers," I tried to remind myself. My heart began to slow down and I was feeling a lot more calmer than before. I decided to have a shower before going to see Chloe at the diner, just so I could wash the blood off my fists, so I grabbed my shower bag and a change of clothes and quickly made my way there. People were buzzing around the dorms but I managed to make it into the showers before anyone stopped me, I was thankful for that. The hot water ran over my back and I exhaled in relaxation, blood ran off my hands and down into the drain, leaving my knuckles bruised and scabbed over.

The diner was surprisingly busy for a Thursday morning, I sat at the end booth and waited for Chloe to arrive. People sat around tables and engulfed themselves in the food, Two Whales Diner was definitely the best food in town, and I was so excited to drink a litre of coffee. Especially after last night.
"Elizabeth Martin, is that really you?" A familiar voice called my name out, I looked to my right and saw Joyce walking towards me with a jug full of coffee, I smiled widely at her,
"Joyce! How are you?" I stood up to give her a brief hug, she hugged me tightly back,
"Surely I'm doing better than you," She smiled sympathetically, "Chloe told me she picked you up from the hospital last week," She spoke in a soft voice to make sure no one heard,
"Yeah," I replied looking down into my mug, "I'm doing better now, feeling heaps better," I smiled up at her, she was looking at my knuckles, and then quickly diverted and looked into my eyes,
"Good, good," Joyce nodded, "I can't imagine how hard it must've been in you girls to loose Rachel like that..I just hope she's living it large in L.A,"
"Me too, Joyce," I smiled up at her, "How's Chloe been?"
"I hardly see her anymore, I don't know where she goes or what she does. David said he saw her down at the junk yard the other week, God I'm so worried about her, Elizabeth. I'm so happy you're back to talk some sense in to her," She smiled sadly at me. It was understandable that Chloe would spend so much time at the junkyard, that's where Rachel and her did most of their bonding, they would go there and get high and drink. It was their place.
"I could feel my fucking ears burning from a mile down the road. Are you guys done talking about me now?" Chloe's loud voice echoed throughout the diner, Joyce looked up at her,
"Nope, we were just getting started," I joked, taking a sip out of my mug. Chloe slid into the booth and Joyce poured her a warm cup of coffee and then left us alone.
"Have a good bitching session with my mum?" Chloe asked, I laughed,
"If you count talking about yourself bitching, then yes, it was lovely," Chloe let out a light laugh and rolled her eyes,
"Did you see Frank's RV is still parked outside?" She asked, "Mum says they're going to have to start paying him to park there,"
"Yeah, I caught up with him the other day," I paused and Chloe raised her eyebrows, "He mistook me for Rachel at first," She scoffed,
"I mean you guys do look pretty similar," She stated,
"She was prettier though," I smiled down into my cup,
"Is," Chloe said, "She's still here, Elizabeth. Don't give up on her like that."