Chasing Casey

Chapter Fifteen: I'm Sorry...

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Dedication: Soulanatomy for the amazing signature! I love it!

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One and A Half Years Ago

Time became a distant concept to me.

Everything was blurry. After hyperventilating to the point of almost passing out, I finally tore away from the police. I pulled away from Casey's family.

My family.

I sprinted into the house and flew down the stairs. My leg got caught and I fell, hard, onto the floor. Getting to my feet shakily, I looked around.

His bed was unmade. Everything looked normal.

Except the fact that he wasn't here.

He couldn't possibly be gone. The Casey I knew could never do something like this.

Crying, to the point of being a complete, sobbing wreck, I staggered towards his bed, in complete melt down mode.

As I sat, I heard something. I pulled a piece of paper from underneath me. His boyishly, cursive writing was sprawled across the page. I hiccuped, not believing that this could have happened.

There were two notes, both titled, "I'm Sorry..."

One was addressed to his family, the other, addressed to me.

***

I'm Sorry...

I know those two words cannot begin to describe how sorry I am for what I have done. There's a horrible, part of me I've kept from you - from everyone I've ever known. This twisted, dark, monster has resided in me for far too long. It's eating everything inside of me.

This must sound very weird to you. I know I'm the bubbly, happy guy that everyone knows and likes. But behind every laugh, every smile, there has been something brewing inside of me.

I'm so sorry for not telling you.

I have so much regret with you. I've known how you've felt, for a long time. I never did anything about it, too scared that something would happen and I would lose you. I'm so stupid. I had someone like you and never appreciated it.

I do love you. I do care for you. I hope you know that.

I miss you already and I'm still here, writing this letter. God I am so sorry, Sadie. I just can't...

I hope you will forgive me. As my loyal, faithful best friend, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I hope there's a part of you that understands.

Please, look out for my family. Especially Isaac. I don't want this cruel world to get their hands on him, too.

I've been dealing with a lot of pain and I'm sorry I felt I couldn't confide in you. I do trust you, it was just something I thought I could handle.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm really sorry.

You're my Princess. You deserve the world. You deserve above and beyond of everything. I hope that good things happen to you.

Don't ever forget that you're special.

I love you.

Casey.