Josh's P.O.V.
I walked down the freezing paths in Duke. Overhearing others conversations. Seeing all of the cute couples and how happy they all were. Something I used to have, but lost.
The rain started to pick up and people were running out of the streets trying to get inside before the down pour. Sadly my dorm was a lot further than most. So I was stuck in the rain.
I walked down looking out to see the interesting view, until I spotted someone that could make my heart beat a mile away. But he was with someone else and there was no way that I would change that.
I took out my camera and lifted it up in their direction as they held hands and were just walking in the rain. I took my shot just getting the perfect angle. It was an amazing photo, I just wish I was the one holding his hand.
"Josh!" I hear as I look behind to see Tobi, who I was somehow still lucky enough to call my friend.
"Hey." I said as he looked down at my camera.
"You need to stop this. You need to stop taking pictures of them. You need to move on Josh, and get out of this rain." He said grabbing my hand as we ran to get to our dorm.
We ran past the two as I looked back and I looked into his beautiful ocean blue eyes and it felt like everything stopped for that moment as we both just stared into each other's eyes. But then it was ruined as Tobi kept on pulling on to my arm and the other boy was soon kissing the boy that I loved, with the ocean blue eyes.
Tobi and I finally got to the dorm and I sat down on my bed taking off my camera.
"Josh, you need to stop taking photos of them. Stop taking photos of him and move on." He said as I just shook my head.
"I'll move on once you move on from Vik. How about that?" I said as he just laughed.
"I'm over Vik. He's happy and I'm happy. Okay?" He said as I just shook my head.
"Then tell me why you keep this?" I said pulling out a box from under his nightstand, "A whole entire box full of pictures and memories of the two of you. Oh yeah, you're totally over him. Stop fucking lying to yourself and stop telling me that I should get over Simon when you haven't even gotten over Vik."
"I don't get why I'm even still friends with you. Your the reason why Vik and I broke up." He yelled as that was the statement I was most afraid of.
"You're right. I ruined everything. I ruined my relationship with Simon, I've ruined yours and Vik's, I ruin everything. I'm sorry Tobi." I said as I got up and walked out of the dorm.
"Josh..." He said as I kept on walking just ignoring him.
I got outside and of course it was still raining. The view was beautiful, but I didn't even have the motivation to take a picture. Nothing felt right anymore. I fucked everything up.
It wasn't even my fault. No one knows the truth except me. No one will believe me if I tell them the truth. Why would they? I'm just a fucked up piece of shit, tossed out for everyone to laugh at.
I sat down on a bench, in an area where no one normally comes to. I'm probably the only person who knows of it to be honest. It normally helps me to space out, but instead I feel even worse.
I fucked up everything and there is no going back and that's what hurts the most.
I heard my phone buzz as I took it out of my pocket to see a message from someone that I would've never expected to seen.
MiniPastel: are you okay?
ZerkaaPunk: why do you care? I fuck up everything. You should hate me. And anyway you have the perfect boyfriend so why do I get the grace of a text from you?
MiniPastel: my boyfriend isn't perfect
ZerkaaPunk: he's better than I ever was
MiniPastel: i didn't text you because of my problems, I just saw you run out of your dorm and you looked like shit
ZerkaaPunk: thanks I get that a lot lately
MiniPastel: I didn't mean it like that
ZerkaaPunk: it doesn't matter Simon, just leave me alone
MiniPastel: fine Josh, everybody was right
ZerkaaPunk: what?
MiniPastel: you are just some fucked up prick
MiniPastel: I texted you because I miss you and because I still think of you everyday
MiniPastel: when you looked me in the eyes my whole entire body started to shake and I got these uncontrollable feelings
MiniPastel: I miss you Josh
MiniPastel: I miss us
MiniPastel: the clash of dark and light
MiniPastel: the clash of rough and soft
MiniPastel: I miss us
ZerkaaPunk: just forget about me Simon, you are better off that way
ZerkaaPunk: I am a prick just like everyone says
I heard rustling come from behind me as I saw him emerge.
"But I know you're not a prick. I know that isn't true. I still care about you Josh." He said as I just shook my head.
"Forget about me Simon. You're better off. I'm leaving anyway." I said as he sat down next to me.
"What do you mean you're leaving?" He said as I turned to him.
"Exactly what it sounds like. I'm leaving the campus. I flunked out Simon." I said dropping my head so I was looking at the ground.
"What happened?"
"My whole entire life went to shit after you broke up with me. After what happened," I said as I felt a shiver crawl down my back, only I know the truth of what happened that night, "I started to do drugs again, and I got in to the wrong crowd of people. Everything became really fucked up Si."
"They're just kicking you out?" He said as I nodded my head.
"They can do that. You know, we did get on the honors program, the program where they give you a full scholarship because you are academically high. Well, I'm not that anymore and since my dad didn't want me to come here in the first place I have to go back to the hell hole my dad calls home." I said looking up at him as he looked at me in shock.
"What-what happened?" He said wiping the dirt and all of the shit off my face.
"Stop Si," I said pulling away, "I broke your heart and I'm not going to let this happen. I never stopped loving you Si. You know that?"
"You cheated on me Josh." He said as I just looked back at the ground.
"If only you knew." I said as he just lifted me up so I was looking into his eyes.
"What?" He said as I shook my head.
"It doesn't matter. Also, can you tell Vik to give Tobi a shot again. It's my fault they broke up and god does Tobi miss him." I said as I stood up.
"Don't do this Josh." He said grabbing my hand as I pulled it away.
"Goodbye Si." I said as I walked out and back onto the campus.
~~~~~~
YOU ARE READING
Messaging You -minizerk AU- (sequel)
FanfictionThis is a sequel to College Chat. Simon thinks that Josh had cheated on him. Josh knows the truth. Josh has to leave because he flunked out of college. Simon still loves Josh but doesn't want to tell him that.
