Falling for a goodbye

Secrets

Ryan's POV

It's been a month now since that day we kissed, we're a couple but we're keeping it quiet I kinda worry about it in a way, I mean she's 19 and she's taking on me and all my issues

I've been thinking about it and I think I'm gonna leave this place, or at least this part of the facility, there's more self reliant places on this site, they're like apartments but they're still a part of the facility, they're considering moving me there anyways so I might as well ask for it

There's no point staying here anyway, I'm done, there's nothing more they can do for me as far as I'm concerned, I won't be able to walk whatever they say, I'm not doing it anymore

Oh look my doctors back, how exciting, that's great

"Ryan I really think you should consider this" he tells me but I just roll my eyes

"There's no point, I'm done, I've told you I'm done so many times, when will you get it?!" I yell

"What's going on?" I hear a voice and my heart stops

"Chlo..." I start

"What's going on?!" She asks more agitatedly

"You try and convince him, he's just too stubborn" my doctor tells her exasperatedly and then leaves, I squeeze my eyes shut and try to pretend that that didn't just happen

"Ryan?!" She raises her voice again

"They want to try one more time at the surgery but I don't want to do I said no" I tell her the truth

"Why would you do that?!" She yells

"Because I'm done with this! I'm done being their human chopping block! They're already done this to me 3 times! Is that not enough?!" I yell back

"You have a chance and you're not taking it?! That's not the Ryan I know" she retorts

"Well actually I've been saying no to that since before I even met you soooo" the second I finish saying that I regret it

"W....what?" She stutters

"Chloe no...." I start but trail off

"All this time you didn't tell me?!" I cannot even describe her voice then, the pain mixed with what I can't even begin to explain

"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to think this of me" I try to explain

"So you decided to lie to me instead?!" She yells again

"They can't fix my back! They just can't okay?! I don't want to get my hopes up and then have it all fail! Not again! And Chloe it hurts! The pain after they do that is unreal! I can't do that again! Okay?! I just can't!" I loose my temper

"I....." she starts but then soon stops

For a second I think she's just going to run out but then she silently comes and sits next to me and snuggles into my chest

"I should've told you" I whisper to her

She stays silent for a while until eventually she finally breaks the silence

"I don't care about whether or not you can walk, but I want you to tell me these things" she whispers

"I'm sorry" I tell her, I kiss her on the side of her head

"No more secrets?" She asks me gently

"No more secrets" I agree

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Double update cuz I didn't post for 2 days xoxo