Falling for a goodbye

Decisions

Ryan's POV

It's been a few days here now and can I just holy shit that girl is just woah, like she literally only started having sex maybe a week ago and she's always wanting to go at it, not that I'm gonna say no because I mean fuck she's hot but I think she needs to slow down a little there

I've finally had to surrender to the fact that walking isn't something I can do anymore, I've almost completely lost the feeling in me legs, below the knee there's nothing, it really is a scary thought, not being able to walk ever again but I've gotta accept it so I will, as long as Chloe can deal with it I can

But that's the thing, she's so young and she's not done much yet in the way of exploring and just living her life, does she really wanna be tied down to a paralysed ex navy boyfriend 4 years older than her?

Maybe this was a mistake, maybe everything was a mistake

She walks in just as I come to this realisation

"Hey baby" she calls over to me as she walks in

"Hey" I reply quietly

"What's up?" She asks me

"What do you mean?" I try to act innocent

"You're never this quiet" she replies

"It's nothing" I respond although it's not

"What's wrong? Does your back hurt?" She asks concernedly

"No, no it's not my back, I can deal with that....it's.....you" my voice becomes quieter as I start to admit the truth and then I trail off, she looks at me like she's about to cry

"M...me? Are you breaking up with me?" She asks tearily, I I wheel myself over to her and pull her into my lap

"God no babe, I love you to pieces, I was just thinking.....I mean.....is this really want you want? Me and all my issues when you're just 19?" I ask her

"Y....you think....you think I have a problem with your injury?" She asks me, hurt

"No, I'm just saying, you're so young, you've got so much living to do, do you really wanna be stuck with me?" I ask

"Ryan McCartan! I love you more than anything in this world! How could you think that something so stupid could affect how I feel about you?!" She yells, tears start falling for her eyes

"I don't know, I'm just not good enough for you" I whisper and she slaps my shoulder in response

"Ow" I groan

"How could you think that?!" She cries

"You deserve better than me" I tell her

"I just want you!" She screams

"Okay, I'm sorry" I soothe, she's now crying a lot, I'm such an idiot

I pull her tightly into a hug and she cries into my chest

"I'm sorry" I whisper again

I have one other idea, I didn't want to do it before but now I have an actual reason to, it's probably a stupid idea and probably won't work but I'll try for her, I've just got a couple of things to do first, some pretty important decisions to make

----------------------------------------------

What decisions do you think he's talking about? Xoxo