Falling for a goodbye

Goodbye

Ryan's POV

I knew it was going to happen, I saw this coming, I'm ready, I've prepared myself for the end so many times before that I know I am ready to die, Chloe on the other hand

There's something we need to talk about but I want to wait as long as I can

She walks in and looks at me, I can tell she's about to break

"I'm sorry I yelled at you" she whispers with a cracking voice

"It's okay" I whisper back raspily, I feel like shit but I've gotta stay strong for her

Death is easy, life is what's hard

I look at her face and I can see she can't hold it in anymore

"Come here" I tell her in as normal a voice as I can muster

She runs to me and lets the flood of tears loose, she curls up on the bed next to me

She cries her eyes out into me and I feel so terrible for her, I haven't got to live with this but she has

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid when I'm gone" I make her promise me

"I won't" she whispers shakily

"I love you so much Chloe" I tell he as I try not to cry myself

"I love you too" she says through shakes breaths

We stay like this for a while and then I realise she's asleep, this is the last time I'll get to see her snuggle up to me as she sleeps, I only hope she can manage it alone, well she's not alone, she'll never be alone but it'll be hard, she's strong, I just hope she's strong enough

I was too afraid to close my eyes for even a second, after a couple of hours there was a quiet knock at the door, it was ally and she'd clearly been crying a lot

"Ry" she whispered and I nodded, know exactly what she was going to say

"Every night while you were away I knew there was a chance it would be your last....but here?..." then she loses it, her voice breaks

"I'll miss you" she says through tears

"I know, but you'll be okay, you're going to do great things ally, I know I would be so proud of everything you'll do one day and the amazing woman you'll be" I tell her, now crying a little myself

"I promise I'll look after her" she swears to me as though she could read my mind

"Thank you" I whisper

Chloe's POV

I wake up wrapped in Ryan's arms

The final time I'll do that

"Hey beautiful" he whispers, he looks pretty rough, I don't think he's got long, that thought tears me apart

"Hi" I whisper sadly

"Promise me no matter how hard it is you'll keep going, stay strong, I need you two to be okay" he starts

"Ally and I will do our best to stay strong baby I promise" I whisper but he looks at me funny

"I don't mean ally" he tells me and now I'm confused as well

"Then who's the other person?" I ask

"Y...you don't know? I thought you knew, I thought you just weren't ready to talk about it yet" he explains but he still hasn't answered my question

"You've got all the signs, I just assumed.." he cuts himself off

"Assumed what?" I ask nervously

"Baby, you're pregnant"

Those words stay in my ears for s while

"W...what?" I finally muster my words but my breathing is shaky and I can feel my heart pounding

"You've been sick most days for a while now Chlo, always tired, often achey, don't like certain hints anymore, cravings, weird metallic taste in your mouth, I just assumed you knew and weren't ready to talk about it yet...." he tells me

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no" I just keep repeating myself in shock, he can't be right, he just can't be

"I only put it together myself the other day and Chloe sweetie look even your stomach is starting to swell, you've got a baby in there Chlo, our baby" he tells me but I just can't accept that

"You can't possibly know that" I fight it

"No, but I'm pretty sure, just do me a favour and whatever you do do not let the kid join the army, navy, always navy, not that I want our kid to do either of those unless he or she wants to by navy, always navy" he trues to make a joke but I can't even do that

"I'm not pregnant, I'm just not! And even if I was, I couldn't do it without you! I wouldn't!" I yell at him as tears flood down my cheeks, I was mid-breakdown

"Chloe, maybe you're not but if you are then try and look at it like this, that baby is part you and part me, it's the lasts living piece of me once I'm gone, do you best for them for me, I know I'll always be proud of yo...." he trails off causing me to panic immensely

"Ryan?! No Ryan!" I screamed at him

He pulled a small smile, the last smile he'd ever pull

I'm hyperventilating and crying like mad, screaming too I think but I don't even know what was happening anymore, I felt like I was going to black out, as doctors rushed in I heard the last words Ryan McCartan ever spoke on this world

"I love you both so much, goodbye Chloe" he whispered and then that was it, the monitor flatlined

The love of my life was gone

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But it ain't over till I say it's over
Xoxo