Falling for a goodbye

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Chloe's POV
6 weeks later

In the weeks leading on from that day we did so many things, we went to Disneyland which was awesome and we did so many other things, but one of my favourite things we did was wedding planning, we've officially sorted out almost everything except a date, we've decided on May which is now only 2 months away  and I'm so excited

Well, I was

Then it happened

The day that changed everything

Our entire lives together ruined all in one day

I woke up late one morning, I looked at my alarm and saw that it said 9:30 when I get up at 7:30, someone must've turned it off, meaning Ryan did it to try and let me sleep in

I got up and walked out calling for him to tell him off, but I never got an answer

"Ryan!" I started to call louder getting panicked and that's when I saw it, my heart skipped like 10 beats, no you know what screw that it just fucking stopped, I screamed at the sight

He was led on the floor unconscious

I ran over to him and tried to wake him up but I couldn't, I kept shaking him but he wouldn't wake up? I grabbed my phone and soaked 911, I told them what was happening and where we were and they said an ambulance was on his way, I started crying my eyes out and yelling at him to wake up, then he started mumbling, he mumbled my name and I caught my breath a little

Soon the paramedics arrived and I told them everything

"Okay miss, we need to get your fiancé to the hospital right now, so come on" one of them told me and as soon as he was on a stretcher we were out of here and into the ambulance, we headed there as fast as we could and then we arrived at the hospital where Ryan had had his operation, we were rushed straight into the emergency centre, I ran after them but I was so confused, I'd called ally and she was on her way as fast as she could but she would be at least 4 hours

They took him to a room and doctors rushed around him, leaving me so confused, I kept asking what was going on but no one would tell me anything, I kept asking and then I was pushed outside to watch, they hooked him up to a bunch of monitors

I saw it fast line and I couldn't breathe, they pulled out the little shock pads and kept doing it but nothing was working, everything was becoming a blur, it was all such a mess, I mean yesterday we were planning our wedding and today? What the hells happening today?!

They kept shocking him and then suddenly the monitor started beeping again, dear god Ryan McCartan you've gotta stop doing this to me, I was so all over the place and then my stomach dropped, I was gonna be sick, I ran to the nearest toilets and spilled my guts, his happens when something like this happens, for some reason my body likes to throw up when I get nervous or scared, great huh?

When I went back all the doctors were leaving except one, I knew it had been about ten minutes, I was really sick, but I wasn't sure what to expect, then I saw him, his eyes open, he looked perfectly fine, I stormed in there so mad at him

"YOU ASSHOLE DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS?! I WAS TERRIFIED I WAS GONNA LOOSE YOU" I screamed at him, then I saw the look on his face and I looked at him again, he didn't look fine, he didn't look fine at all

"Miss hosterman, can I speak to you outside please?" The doctor asked and I nodded nervously, we stepped outside and he gave me a grave look

"Miss hosterman your fiancé is a diabetic am I correct?" He asked even though he clearly knew the answer

"Yes" I replied quietly

"Where you aware he was borderline organ failure when he left the hospital?" He asked me

What?

W...what?

Was that what Ryan was hiding from me?....

"No" I whispered, I couldn't manage louder

"And were you aware that the reason his heart stopped during that surgery 8 weeks ago was a clot in  one of the main arteries of his heart?" He asks

Okay Ryan and I need to have a fucking conversation about what the actual fuck he was thinking not telling me this shit

I could only shake my head this time, no words would come out

"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this but due to that clot he suffered a heart attack and is now going into massive and catastrophic organ failure as a result" he tells me and my heart drops in my chest

"What does that mean for him?" I ask but I can tell from the look on his face it's not good

"I'm very sorry, but it's my opinion that he won't make it through the night"

Those words feel like knives to my heart

I'm loosing him

And there's nothing I can do about it.....

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You guys may need to prepare yourselves for this, because shit is about to get real, I'm very sorry for what I'm about to do xoxo