Falling for a goodbye

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Chloe's POV

Ryan was in the hospital for about two weeks after that, he's doing a lot better physically but emotionally I'm not so sure, he really thought this would work, he thinks it matters to me whether we can do all these things but I'm happy with what we've got, I just want him, I don't care about the age we both have it just mines in my head not physical

I'm not sure he's ready to come home but he says he's fine, there's something he's not telling me, but I don't know what's going on and he gets really defensive, his doctors won't talk to me and I'm scared

I know that they've upped his insulin doses, I don't know why, but I'm just so lost

He tells me he's coming home today whether I agreed with him or fought him on it so I just didn't, it's my birthday tomorrow and he was insistent that he would be home for it, he wanted to throw a party but I told him that just wasn't going to happen

He sent me home last night so I'm just pacing the apartment waiting for him, plison's bringing him home but then she's gotta go straight back to Minnesota after

Suddenly I hear a noise at the door and shoot round to see the door open and Ryan come in, ally smiles at me then they say goodbye and she leaves

"Hey" he says kinda awkwardly

"Hey" I reply shyly, I'm just glad he's back but I wish he was lying to me

Ryan's POV

She followed me round for the next like twenty minutes like a little lost puppy and I had a short temper so I finally lost hold of my tongue

"You don't have to follow me round you know? I'm not that pathetic" I tell her and she just looks at me

She storms away after a few moments of glaring at me, I go after her as fast as I can in this damned chair

"Chloe!" I call as I catch up to her, she flies round and I can see the hurt and the anger all mixed up in her eyes

"DON'T! YOU WANT ME TO JUST LEAVE YOU ALONE?! JUST GIVE YOU SOME SPACE?! YOU NEARLY DIED RYAN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT DID TO ME?! I HAVEN'T HAD AN ATTACK THAT BAD SIMCE I LIST MY DAD! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" She screams at the top of her lungs at me, leaving me in complete shock

"Chloe.....I...." I eventually start once I regain my composure but she cuts me off

"No, just don't, I don't wanna hear it, you're just gonna lie to me again" she tells me and I'm shaken, lying to her? How does she know about that, I can't tell her, she may never need to know

"Why won't you just talk to me?" She asked me with tears in her eyes

"I'm sorry" I whisper as I watch the first few tears fall from her eyes

"Please tell me" she plead with me

But I couldn't do it

I couldn't tell her

"As long as you can't tell me the truth then I don't see what else there is to talk about" she whispers, her voice breaking and tears falling

"I will tell you, just not right now, everything that's happened since I first got hurt is something I have to truly come to terms with before I can do anything else, but I need you there with me to do that, I can't go on by myself" I beg her

Then before my eyes she breaks down, the woman I love, falls apart right in front of me....and it's my fault......I've done this to her

"I'm so sorry" my voice cracks

We remained there for a while, both of us broken, falling to pieces, we were together but we were so alone

Eventually she came over to me and we sat on the couch together in silence, cuddled up together

And that was it, no more was said about it, a fight that hopefully would never come up again

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Nothing's ever really over until I tell you it is xoxo