Unconditional (Sequel to Senior Year - jb)

14. The Truth

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Justin's POV

My head thumped as I tried to close my eyes to get even an hour sleep but I just couldn't. About two hours ago I had heard Ava sobbing 'no' in her sleep but somehow I just didn't even flinch.

How could I comfort her when I was an emotional mess myself?

I lied on my back, staring blankly at the ceiling. Not looking at any specific spot, just staring, letting my thoughts swarm around in my head. My hands were behind my head, keeping my position slightly upward. The only sound I heard was my girlfriends quiet sniffing that she always did when she was in deep sleep. The first time I discovered that as her habit, it used to bother me because it was quiet yet annoying but now I just lived with it. It didn't bother me at all.

A single tear slipped down my right temple.

Shit. Why was I so stupid? How could I something like that I thought I would never do to anyone?

I pushed myself up and sat on the edge of the bed, my face in my hands. The anxiety and feeling of regret pooled in the pit of my stomach, making it hard to do anything.

Everytime I touched Ava's skin, even with just a fingertip, my head was filled with memories of me on top of Scheana, touching her skin.

Flashback

"Come on, it's Friday! We can't just stay here in the studio, making music. We need to go out!" Scheana whined as she stood in the doorway of the little studio we were working in.

"I thought that was the reason we came here." I scoffed while shaking my head.

We were alone in the studio and it was almost 10 in the evening. Yes, she was right. We needed to go out and have some time off since we had been working ever since we got here. We hadn't even slept an hour longer.

"Justin," she stepped inside and took a seat next to me on a stool, "I know you're not that boring. There's something on your mind."

Her stare was intense. Those big brown eyes examined me through the long lashes on top of them.

Yet again, she was right. There definitely was something on my mind and it was Ava. I tried to put myself in her position and understand why she was so upset about this but somehow I couldn't. I kept thinking 'this is only work' and it helped me get through it without getting sad or something.

"Is it your girlfriend?" Scheana asked but it was more like a mock than a question.

I didn't say anything. I just looked down at my hands while nervously bouncing my leg up and down.

Suddenly Scheana grunted and it echoed around in the semi-spacious room. She got up from her stool and started circling around the space.

"You know what, Justin? You know what's your problem?" she asked, irritation very clear in her voice.

Still, I didn't answer. I just watched walking around stressfully. Honestly, I didn't really need her opinion about me. I got it enough from other people back at home...

"You let your little girlfriend do all the deciding on what you do." she spat her words at me, "You're not yourself at all. And somehow, I just know that. Your girlfriend thinks she can control everything. And I mean everything. She thinks she can make people in your life disappear just because she's jealous. And that's not fücking right. You need to man up. All I see is a big püssy in front of me."

What the hell?

What was going on? Does every female I cross over with want to yell at me over some stupid reasons? I was getting very, very frustrated over the fact how she was talking to me, about me.