~That night I had nightmares of losing my baby and they felt so real. I remember gasping for air as I woke up from those horrendous dreams. But when I looked around, I was in my own bedroom with Justin sleeping next to me. I had to pat down my stomach to make sure I was still carrying our baby. Somehow, knowing that your own family didn't support your decision to start a family, made me super insecure about everything. I knew what Abbie said wasn't a lie. I knew I didn't have my shit together but I was just playing it cool so that no one was going to question my decisions.
Everyday I felt weaker and weaker and the feeling of having control of everything was almost gone. And that scared the shit out of me.
What if I was going to be a terrible mother? What if I couldn't take care of my own baby? What if I failed, badly?
I stayed awake, just listening to the late night sounds of New York. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't move. Only a few tears raced down my temples.
Something wasn't right, and I knew it.
-
"Ah, Ava, pregnancy looks so good on you." Laura gasped as we embraced each other.
I hadn't seen her in months. She had been in Canada doing a short internship and turns out she found herself a new boyfriend while staying there. That didn't surprise me.
"Thanks, babe." I flashed a small smile.
We sat down on a Central Park bench as the autumn breeze flew by us. There were some men playing football and families throwing frisbees. They all looked so happy.
I wish I could be that happy too.
"So how's life?" Laura sighed as she dug her teeth into a Subway sandwich.
Not good, actually.
"Good." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Everything okay with Justin?"
"Yup, everything's fine."
She didn't know about the cheating. I never told her about it. I don't like telling other people about my private life too much.
"And he must be excited for the baby too? You didn't plan on having a baby, right?" Laura turned to look at me.
Well that was an odd question. Was she doubting my decision too?
"Yeah, he's... excited." I nodded.
Then there was silence.
The only thing we heard was the happy screams those men and families let out. I longed for that kind of happiness.
Ever since Justin... cheated on me, I hadn't felt happiness at all. Not even a single glimpse. Of course when I decided to keep my baby I was happy, but that feeling was now replaced with worry and anxiety. Nothing was safe anymore.
"Okay, what's going on? I have never seen you this quiet before and I know something's not right." Laura put her hand on my shoulder, obviously wanting me to look at her but I just looked down at my sweaty hands on my lap, "Is he... hitting you or something?"

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Unconditional (Sequel to Senior Year - jb)
FanfictionThey met each other when she was only 15 and he was 19. They fell in love deeply, but somehow when everyone found out about them, their love went down the hills and jumped on rocks. She was heartbroken and thought he wasn't. Three years later they s...