Sabay

Barely breathing

(Abi entered their mansion, her hair, clothes messy and are wet without her noticing as she walked home upon hearing every angry word from the mouth of the only man she ever loved)

"I don't ever want to see you again"- Noah

(That words resonate in her already messy thoughts. She's floating in an abyss, her eyes won't bat and refuse to shed a tear. her heart is pounding, aching, bleeding, screaming of unfathomable pain. After two years she spoke to Noah, she thought she was prepared for it but maybe it's true no one can ever be prepared for what is bound to happen. Noah's pain sliced through Abigail's soul, he used to be her rest her shelter but by her own hands Noah, wrecked that safe haven. She used to be his source of joy only to be his source of great misery)

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(she was welcomed by her sister's sarcasm)

Abigail, get a grip. binalaan na kita sinabi ko na sayong mas makakabuti kung hindi kana lang magpapakita, nagawa mo nang lumayo nuon hindi ba? now you've caused much more trouble than there already was. ngayong alam na nya, alam mo narin ang pakiramdam ang pagtabuyan ng taong mahal mo ang pandirihan ka ang itakwil ka- Jessa

(she submitted to her sister's every word. standing there absorbing anything she hears, for whatever it is that her sister or Noah thinks of her cannot compare for what she is thinking about herself. wicked and selfish.)

(for two months Abi locked herself in her dark room since Jessa decided to reschedule her therapy  in Manila to let Abi breathe for a while)

anak? bangon ka muna kumain ka muna - Nanay (to Abigail who burrowed her face on bed sheets)

sigh, anak papatayin mo ba talaga ang sarili mo?

(unresponsive Abi burrowed herself even more)

(Jessa is observing just outside Abi's room)

Nay, hindi pa daw ba siya kakain? - Jessa

naku anak, mukhang ayaw talaga ng kapatid mo nag-aalala nako sa kanya kahit naman may problema siya nuon hindi naman umaabot sa ganitong papatayin na ata sarili sa depresyon. hindi ba pwedeng kausapin mo nalang?- Nay

(Jessa cleared her throat and said out loud)

Abigail, in a week kailangan na nating pumunta ng Manila. ayusin mo na sarili mo pinagbigyan kita ng dalawang buwan. hindi hihinto ang mundo para sayo Abi, kailangan mong tumayo- Jessa

(Jessa might not really show it, but she has the deepest concern for her sister just overshadowed by her doubts and envy)

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(for the past two months, Abigail won't eat properly, sleep appropriately. she tried to call Noah a hundred times but she always gets the very same response, seen and ignored. Does she punish herself by depriving her lungs of fresh air, of sunlight even if it's her favorite season which is rainy days? she won't engage. Abigail is depressed, her soul is dying. she is missing him terribly wanted to say it but is afraid to receive a message she already knew. she is begging in whisper hoping the wind would conspire with her and send it to Noahs ears 'i love you")

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dalawang taon narin nakalipas nang mulis silang magkita, pagkatapos ng pagkakataong iyon ganito pa ang ngyari. nakakalungkot darling - Shirley

darling, naniniwala parin ako sa Dyos, na siya ang may kontrol ng lahat. may forever parin sa dalawa- Isagani

pero darling naaawa ako sa kanila

hay, ipagdasal nalang natin sila, yun ang mas maganda at tama nating magagawa

(the old married couple was troubled about the recent events that transpired in the lives of the Manoah and Abigail. So much darkness, secrets, and scandals that they cannot comprehend. looking through the glass walls of their cafe, raining outside made them miss the two more. them embracing each other decided to say a prayer of protection and wisdom for the couple)

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two months before...

(Enrique was rushed to the hospital due to a mild heart attack after the confrontation with Jessa and Noah.  Standing beside his hospital bed is Noah, baffled and restless. His high expectations and respect for his Father dissolved dramatically. Enrique was admitted for almost two weeks, but in those times Noah gives him the same treatment mute and cold.)

son, (while reaching to hold Noah's left hand) salamat, salamat at ako ang pinili mo ang pamilya mo parin ang pinili mo, I am so proud of you- Enrique

(Noah let go of his Father's grip)

tatawagin ko muna si doc, we'll see if pwede ka nang iuwi sa Manila - Noah (dull and cold)

(after two weeks they flew back to Manila, their house n Davao was already sold it was a right step for them to take to leave everything behind especially for Noah. He has to let go of that house where he and Abi first slept and made love together, when she finally submitted herself fully to her when she said yes to marrying him)

(shaking his head to rebuke his thoughts about Abigail. he is trying his best to ignore her messages her calls but god knows how much courage and strength he gathers to stop himself from saying "I love you so much")

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(how painful it is to not been able to say you love him/her ? have you been there? you've experienced the thorn and thistles covering your heart? it hurts, it can burst anytime)

(no matter how painful our situation is, we need to step forward to move on)

rise up and walk...