APOLOGIES

Angelah

ANGELAH:

I was in the kitchen cooking breakfast for my daughter Niah’e, well trying to cook. Cooking wasn’t something I was good at; sadly for a mother. I heard Niah’e making her way down the steps because of her slippers. Her father had bought her some damn slippers that sang every step she took.  I hate those slippers, but Niah’e loves them. Every morning and night she make sure she has them on. She even tries to wear them in public, like to school and out to play; and has a tantrum when I tell her “no”.

When Niah’e reached the bottom step, she was still in here Pajamas, rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning baby, your father should be here in an hour to pick you up for school. Go shower then come back down to eat”, I told her.

“Mommy, I’m hungry now, I wanna eat”, she whined. Niah’e was only 6 years old. I had her when I was 16 years old. Most of you are probably thinking I was young and dumb. Truth is… I was young and in love.

"You can eat after you wash lil girl", I told her.

"No", she pouted.

“Niah’e what did I say? Go wash. You’ll eat when you’re done baby”, I told her.

She innocently rolled her eyes and stomped back up the stairs.

“Keep it up”, I yelled as she kept stomping up the stairs and all I heard was her slippers singing.

I sighed then smiled, my daughter is defiantly a brat, a spoiled one to add. I blame her father, John. John and I separated around the time when Niah’e was only 3 years old. He still takes care of Niah’e, he loves her to death. Anything she wants, she gets because of John. It’s like he can’t say ‘no’ to her. Believe me, she notices and takes advantage of it. I find it cute but it also makes me a bit jealous, because Niah’e is more attached to John than she is to me.

Fifteen minutes passed, and Niah’e was making her way back down stairs and fully dressed in the clothes I picked out and laid on her bed.

“That was fast”, I arched my brow at her as I put her breakfast on the kitchen table.

“I did it fast mommy”, she innocently replied, then took a seat at the table.

“Mm-Hm… You better had scrubbed and why didn’t you use the shower cap, your hair looks wet, don’t get mad when it puffs up in a few”, I told her.

She didn’t respond, she was just looking at her breakfast plate as if something was wrong.

“Baby… what’s wrong”, I asked her.

“I don’t like it”, she told me looking at the food frowning.

“You didn’t even touch or try the food Niah’e”, I told her.

“It’s nasty mommy, I don’t want to eat it”, she whined.

I sighed, “Niah’e you have to eat. You need breakfast before you leave this house… so eat up”, I told her.

The doorbell rang, I told Niah’e one more time to eat her food then I went to get the door. When I opened the door, John was standing there. I can’t deny, he was looking very handsome. He wore a white Burberry shirt, with Khaki pants and Gucci belt. He also wore his Jordan and this sexy ass Chanel jacket. His long-thick  hair was in a neat bun on top of his head (which I thought was kind of feminine), but John was far from that. His light caramel skin tone made his thick eyebrows not look so bad.

“Um… are you gon’ let me in or nah?”, he asked me. I didn’t realize I was standing there starring.

“Oh… yea… sorry”, I said, then stepped aside to let him in. Once he was in, I closed the door.

Soon as John was noticed by Niah’e, she was all excited.

“Daddy !!!”, Niah’e shot out of her chair and into his arms.

“Hey!...there’s daddy’s baby, you ready?”, he asked her holding her in his arms, kissing up her face.

“Daddy… do I have to go to school?”, Niah’e asked John in her spoiled voice.

“Yes baby, smart girls go to school every day”, he told her as he kissed her forehead.

Niah’e smiled, “Okay”.

“Did she eat?”, he turned to ask me.

Before I could answer, Niah’e started shouting.

“She made the bread black and nasty again daddy”, Niah’e told John.

“Niah’e, I told…”, I started until John cut me off.

“It’s cool Ang’… I got it”, he told me.

I just nodded and looked down. It was embarrassing not knowing how to cook. I mean good cooking runs in the family, but I never really learned or maybe that lesson wasn’t ran pass me.

“Give your mommy a kiss goodbye so we could go”, John told Niah’e.

Niah’e jumped out of his arms and ran up to me. I hugged and kissed her.

“Be good in school Niah’e, and remember if you wanna ask to use someone else crayon, do it nicely”, I told her.

“Okay mommy, bye”, she smiled and hugged me again, then skipped to the door leaving john behind with me.

“Do you still need me to pick her up too?”, he asked me.

“No… I’ll pick her up, I’m taking her to go see my mom after school.”

“Ight”, was all he said, then he made it to the door with Niah’e and left out.

I sighed, cleaning the kitchen table off, tossing out the meal I tried to prepare.

Sometimes I do think about talking to John about where we stand but then I just feel like it’s no point, we been separated for too long already. Well to me it’s too long. The reason we separated was because I was being treated as a typical ‘Baby Mama’ instead of a ‘Girlfriend’, it’s like ever since I had his child, he been getting into bullshit and treating me like shit. John and I been together since I was 14 and he was 15 (at the time). I was 19 when I decided it was time for us to split up.