Hauntingly Seductive | Angeless [C]

Nightmare

"Chris! Chris wake up now! Please, please wake up! I'm sorry for everything." I heard a vocie say. begging me as I started to become aware of my surrounding once again. The voice I was hearing was the one voice I knew very well and the one person I wish wasn't the one to find me. I knew he wouldn't be able to deal with it. I know I wouldn't be able to in his shoes.

I feel like I was surrounded by a black cloud and I couldn't see anything through it. I couldn't feel anything even though I knew Ange was probably touching me in some way. I would give anything to just feel his soft touch again. I could hear what was going on around me but it more sounded like an echo that was coming from far away. I wanted so ably to be back with Angelo right now but at least me hearing his voice tells me he is okay. Devin didn't lie to me about that.

Slowly the cloud lifted and I was being brought back to reality but the sight I was met with wasn't the ideal sight I was hoping for. I was wishing I would open my eyes and slowly move me limbs, being surrounded by my lovers arms. Safe and where everything could go back to normal. Well as normal as it could be once again. That wasn't the case for me though. 

Instead of my fairy tale ending I was met with my nightmare. I was starting down at my unconscious body and it was wrap and in his arms. He was no longer holding me and I felt my chest tighten He had tears running down his face and I could see how distress he was. I hated that things went this way. At least he gets to have his life.

"Please come back to me baby. The ambulance is on it's way just hold on till then. Everything an be okay." He ran a head through my hair as he let out a loud sob. "Things can be forgiven between us and we can get married. I will forgive you for everything if you just wake up right now." 

Hearing him say all that I would give anything to take my choice back now. But then I remembered why I did this. I did this to save him and he may never understand that but I know what I had done. He can now have a chance at a amazing life and it's because I sacrificed my life for him. My love for him was worth me giving my live up. 

I walked over to him and crouched down behind him. I didn't know how it would go but I had to do something  to comfort him. I had to try at least. If I did't do this now I would always hate myself for it. I caused this pain I had to find some way to lift it.

I set my hand on his shoulder and he jump a bit when I do so but he quickly ignored it, brushing it off as if it was nothing. I let out a sigh as I saw I wasn't able to help him. Well at least I tired, I can't blame myself for not doing this now. 

"It will makes it harder to stand here and watch him like this right now." I heard Rickys soft voice say from behind me. I knew he was right about that but I hated to leave him right now. Not when he was upset because of my accident. 

"I know but I can't leave him. Why can't he see me or anything. I mean he could see Devin and I could see you before." I was rambling on as I just tired to process everything that was happening around us. Nothing was making any sense.

He let out a sigh as he realized he had to explain every little thing to me. "It's something that you have to work on. You need to draw energy to do it and that is something you need to learn. You'll get it eventually, I'll help you." He walked over to me and set his hand on my shoulder in a comforting manner. "I'll make sure you get you goodbye like you had done for me." He told me and it brought a small smile to my face. It didn't fix everything but it did lighten my mood for that small second in time.

Maybe if I got to say my goodbye to him I could help make it easier for him to move on. Explain it all to him so he doesn't spend the rest of his life blaming himself. I knew that was what he was doing right now. It would drive me crazy to know that would be what his life would look like, he doesn't deserve that. He deserves to be happy even if I'm gone. All I can hope right now is Devin doesn't get in the way of this. 

"Can you please stand up? It feels weird not to be looking up at you when I talk." Ricky said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood once again.

I rolled my eyes and stood up next to him. He wrap and arm around my waist trying to make me feel better. I lent into him feeling the comfort of his touch. He understood what I was going through and I knew he could help me get better with this. I know he never fully let go of Ryan but he copes better with it then I would ever think is possible for me. 

All I could hope for no is that Ange sells the house and moves far away from here. If he stays he wont be able to move on. Plus I don't want him getting suck into this even more. He will get to be free.