Boys/Boys/Girls • joshler

4

"Fuck," josh groaned,loudly.

They were sitting on the floor of Josh's room in gaming chairs,staring at a small TV screen.

It was Josh's turn on GTA IV and he was ducked behind his own car,being shot at by the cops.

"Come on,come on,"

Josh was really getting into it.
Tyler had never been much into video games. He'd played Mario kart with his brothers before,but he has an addictive personality. He got attached to it until he got tired of it.

All of the sudden Tyler jumped as he heard a loud gunshot. He looked at the screen,'WASTED' appeared in big,red letters while the rest of the screen went black and white.

If Tyler had been just a few years younger,that gun shot would've given him a panic attack.

He would've hid under Josh's bed and held himself,swaying side to side while he cried and breathed heavily.

Tyler was a lot worse than everyone thought.
And easy to take advantage of.

"Godammit!" Josh sighed. "Want another turn?" He held the controller out for Tyler.

Tyler shook his head as he held his knees to his chest.

"Sorry,games get me worked up."
"It's cool."
"That's part of why I like dudes,they're cool with me being me. Girls think it's obnoxious,ya know unless it's one of the cool ones that scream along with you. But those are one in a million."

Tyler nodded,but he didn't know. Tyler had a sister and mother and that was where the women in his life ended,unless you count the girls that made fun of him in middle school.

But those girls didn't understand.
No one knew Tyler the way he knew himself.
Not even Brendon had seen Tyler break down.
Because Tyler knew when they were coming and when he felt that feeling rising in his body,he fled.
He ran to the woods or the the basement or even attic of his home.
No one could see him like this,it would just drive him into another breakdown.

And Tyler didn't want anyone to have to carry his burden.

"So,uh-tell me stuff. Like about yourself." Josh said.
"W-well let's see,uh,I uh-I-I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"Yeah,I guess that's what I said." Tyler sank in his chair,regret of everything he's ever done flooding over him.
For no reason.
He felt overwhelmed,like hands were wrapped around his throat. He put his own hand on his neck,quietly trying to catch his breath,nothing externally showing that he was scared.

But josh knew.

Josh watched him,huddled in a ball,like he wanted to disappear. And it hurt him. It hurt him to see Tyler that way. It hurt to know That Tyler wasn't happy with himself,that he wanted to run and never stop.
It broke his heart to think that Tyler could hurt himself if he wanted,and that he may have and josh wasn't there to stop him.

(This isn't josh talking about Tyler. You figure it out.)

"Tyler,are-are you okay?" Josh asked,worriedly,as he scooted next to Tyler.

He put and arm around him and pull him close.

"Hey,hey,what's wrong? Can you speak?"

Tyler sat up a bit and leaned into josh,clutching onto his shirt and burying his head into the crook of his neck.

"I just,I-it happens sometimes,i don't-dont know why."

Josh put his other arm around Tyler and pulled him even closer.

"It's all okay,I'm here."

To Tyler,this was messed up. He didn't know josh;josh didn't know him.

It didn't feel right,but at the same time,it did.
It felt so right he could feel it in his heart,but josh shouldn't have to see him like this.
And all of the sudden,Tyler felt like an intruder.
Like he had come into Josh's house and taken advantage of him.

This wasn't Josh's problem,he shouldn't have to deal with it.
He shouldn't have to hold Tyler like this.
Why fuck can't he just be normal?

And these thoughts that were flooding almost drowned him.

Everything hit him like a brick,the emotions,the regrets,the cold nights he spent under his covers holding himself,it all came to him at once.

And came out as a sob.

"J-josh,I'm s-so sorry,I-th-this-"

"No,Tyler,it's okay,get it out. Please."

"No,no,no this-it isn't y-your-your problem. You shouldn't have to deal with-with this."

"I'll deal with it as long as we're friends,Tyler."

And josh was hoping that would be for a long time.

((Do you understand who I was talking about?
I love you))