Brave Enough To Love Again

Chapter 42

Eden

The slight peck woke him up as he opened his eyes and stared at me.

"Hey, you."

I smiled at him, and I was sure that all the love I felt for the man lying next to me me was impossible to be overlooked even by a blind person. The whiskey colored orbs which initially showed surprise, softened and slowly filled with gentleness and happiness.

"I missed you," I said before he could even open his mouth in greeting, "It was a mistake for me not to have left with you last night. I know it now. Im sorry." He looked straight into my eyes observing every tiny movement of my face as if trying to see through me. With my expression that was surely the perfect image of remorse, I asked, "Forgive me, please?"

Those words obviously undid him because after a few moments a slow mischievous grin began to spread on his face. "How sorry are you exactly?" He asked with a smirk as he repositioned himself to lie on his back and held his arms open for me to move closer to him. "Very," I replied in relief as I inched myself closer to him and put my head on his chest.

With my one arm I gently caressed his taut abs and I shoved my legs in between his to intertwine them with his muscled ones. The heat of his whole body felt welcoming and comforting. He looked at my fingers on his stomach and then at me, with softness in his eyes and a big smile on his lips that just melted my heart.

"Honestly, there is nothing to forgive. I understand why you did what you did. But," he paused and I knew what he was taking a short breather for, namely, to tell me about his conversation with Mr. Holloway, "I went to the party yesterday despite my initial plan not to accept the invitation because I needed to talk to James as soon as possible." At those words he looked away from me and directed his gaze at the ceiling. He didn't want me to see the turmoil that was raging inside him which had to have been visible on his face.

However, I wanted to see it, all of it. Every side of him, every facial expression he could possibly have in his lifetime. So, I lifted my hand and gently pulled his face to look back at me. "Tell me," I coaxed him. And so he did. As I already knew all of it, because I overheard the entire conversation, my focus was entirely on the play of emotions that were clearly evident with every word he said.

I just nodded in understanding and agreement every now and again while he talked. He ended his speech by expressing his disappointment about his mother's lie, the biggest one he had ever been told, even worse than Amanda's, according to him. The feeling of betrayal was visible in his face and audible in his voice. I hugged him tighter, as much as I could, until our skin seemed to have fused together, and the heat between our bodies felt too hot to bear, but neither of us cared.

"I hate lies so much," he murmured emphatically, "those untruths can cause so much damage, and more often than not they're unnecessary ones." I gulped at those words. They seemed like a dig at me for the incident with Levi, and they felt like little daggers to my heart. I hated disappointing him, hurting him the way I did the previous night. Knowing exactly what I had to do in that situation, I moved away from him a few inches and lied on my side with my elbow resting on the mattress to look him directly in his eyes before I began my speech.

"This won't ever happen again. I can make promises if you want, but I'd better let my actions speak rather than reciting any words of avowal," I began, "I still can't explain why I did what I did last night. But, being raised by a pastor father, and me being a good girl all my life, I grew up valuing honesty a lot." His face was neutral except for a slight upward movement on one side of his lips as he nodded in understanding and in acceptance of my words.