Rushbrooke End (Book 4)

Chapter 8

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud."

― Coco Chanel

Lilly awoke to the sound of quiet footsteps outside her door. She cracked an eye open as Alice entered the room, still dressed in her evening finery.

"Lilly?" Alice spoke softly and crept towards Lilly's bed. Lilly shut her eyes and evened out her breathing, feigning sleep. She heard Alice move away the bathroom door open, a sliver of light falling on the carpet. Lilly pulled her pillow towards her, intending to get more comfortable but her sister's voice shattered the peace of the room.

"Lilly, can we talk? I know you're awake, there's no use pretending."

"Did Richard ask you to speak with me?" Lilly asked, still not moving.

"No, I want to talk to you."

"Fine, what?" Lilly sat up, brushing the hair out of her face. Alice came to sit next to her, a hair brush in her hand and motioned for Lilly to turn around.

It was what they used to do when they were children; they'd take turns brushing each other's hair while talking in hushed voices, hoping the light wouldn't be seen from the hallway.

"Lilly you must see reason," Alice began to brush. "David is a kind, respectable man. I am sure you would be very happy with him. It's just an engagement, not marriage yet, besides, what possible reason could you have for refusing?"

"You know very well, we've been over this many times: I shall not marry simply because I believe true love does not exist and if it does than it is incredibly difficult to find. Therefore, whoever I marry I shall not be wholly in love with and over time the both of us will become discontent. I do not plan to spend my life being discontent." Lilly focused on the wall, determined to keep the tremor out of her voice. She heard her sister sigh, but no more was said on the topic and when Alice had finished brushing her hair the sisters climbed into their separate beds, Lilly only wearing a chemise and drawers. The room was silent, the crackling of the fire the only thing to disturb them. Lilly soon heard her sister's steady breathing, but she herself had difficulty falling asleep, her mind awash with the murky colours of marital prospects.

She did fall asleep however, after much tossing and turning, and fell into a confused mix of dreams full of Rushbrooke End and David Ovendon.

The next morning Lilly entered the breakfast room and was a greeted with a tense silence. She was the last one to enter sit at the table and she felt her family's eyes snap towards her. "Good morning Lilly," Isabella spoke civilly though Lilly detected a hard edge to her voice and she wasn't sure if it was meant for herself or for the rest of the family.

"Morning," Lilly reached for a piece of bread and set about to buttering it as if nothing had happened, though she was aware every moment of the tension in the room.

"Isabella, when can we go the village?" Arabella piped up from her seat next to Richard and Isabella answered eagerly, clearly feeling as uncomfortable as Lilly was.

"Perhaps around eleven, I've some letters to finish and I want to send them once we get into town."

The conversation resumed and Lilly ate quickly, excusing herself and slipping up the library as fast as she could. There was a peaceful silence in the large room and she felt the strain lift from her shoulders as she selected her current read and settled in her favourite seat, immediately immersing herself in the novel.

She found it easy to do and was thankful for the escapism that the novel provided. Her peace however, did not last long.

"Excuse me," a man spoke from the library door and Lilly started so violently she dropped her book.