Rushbrooke End (Book 4)

Chapter 31

"Love is the most selfish of all the passions."

― Alexandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers

The conversation with Alice had slightly cheered Lilly and she spent the next morning organizing what remained of her writing and fitting it into an old hatbox under her bed.

 After that task was complete she went downstairs to join her family for lunch, feeling more sociable than she had in a while. The cook, (perhaps inspired by a word from Alice) had prepared one of Lilly's favourite dishes and she ate the chicken and rice gratefully.

"I am happy to see your appetite has improved," Richard smiled. "Though perhaps I'll have to go back to guarding any lemon tarts cook serves us."

"Yes," Lilly grinned ruefully, "lemon tart would be just right about now."

"I'll make sure to let cook know for supper tonight."

"Thank you."

"Lilly," Isabella spoke up during pudding, "may I speak with you after you eat?"

"Of course," puzzled, Lilly finished her trifle and followed Isabella into the adjoining drawing room.

"I take it you and Lord Grimshaw had an argument and that's why you were so upset about his leaving?"

"We did, yes," Lilly said warily.

"May I ask what it was about?"

"I'm afraid that's a rather private matter, I'm sorry."

"Is it? Are you sure you cannot tell me?"

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"Well if you can't tell me than at least tell me how you feel about him? Are you still inclined to wed him?"

"Oh yes, I think so. I just hope he still feels the same way about me."

"You aren't sure what he feels?"

"I'm afraid not, though Alice is convinced he still cares for me."

"But you still care for him and are willing to marry him?"

"Yes," Lilly spoke with a certainty that shocked her. "Though when he returns I will have to have a firm talk with him."

"Well all right, as long as you're happy." Isabella smiled and embraced her. "I hope you know," she said once she pulled away. "That I have come to care for you and your sisters and brothers as much as I care for Helen. You are my family now, perhaps more so than my family by blood."

"And I hope you know that the five of us feel the same about you." Lilly replied honestly and Isabella hugged her again.

"I do hope everything works out for you, you deserve to be happy."

"Thank you," Lilly was slightly puzzled about where this sudden affection was coming from but she figured it was some side effect of being with child and she accepted the kindness with grace.

Later that afternoon Lilly sat in the library, a book of poetry sitting ignored on her lap. She was tempted to write to Luke, eager to let him know that she was less angry with him and very much wanted to see him. However, after much careful consideration and several crumpled papers later, she decided it would be a very silly and desperate thing to do. Instead she fantasied about the apology she'd make before verbally lashing him within an inch of his life.

Spoiled brat indeed.

However as the days went by and there was no word from Luke, she began to get more and fretful. Had something happened to him? Or was he so furious with her that he didn't even bother to write her a letter, voicing his displeasure. She had much rather receive a letter from him expressing his hatred for her than not knowing how he felt at all.