Rushbrooke End (Book 4)

Chapter 21

"Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create."

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Luke left the library in a hurry, nearly running into the door as he stumbled towards his study, shutting the door behind him for some privacy.

Fool, he was a fool! He'd refused Lilly's affections, shut her down completely, and for what? His sister, his sister who had taken over his life practically. Now Lilly was angry and hurt and it was all because of him. He was fond of her, more than that, she was like no one else he had met, she made him feel like no one else had and now he'd thrown it all away.

He threw himself onto the hard wooden chair behind his desk, breathing heavily and cursing himself. He should go back into the library, tell her how he felt, tell her that he did want a romantic entanglement and that he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, to feel her soft hair, to taste her soft mouth against his, to feel how her long fingers felt in his hair.

But instead he pressed his fists to his eyes and tried to block out those memories, block out any feelings he had for her, replacing them with the right amount of disinterested courtesy.

Suddenly a scream broke the silence that lay over the house and Luke leapt to his feet, knocking the chair over in his haste.

He raced for the door, jerking it open to see his sister standing at the top of the stairwell, her face a mask of cold fury.

He heard a dull thud from the bottom of the stairs and he hurried past his sister, taking the stairs two at a time to where he saw Lilly fall to the floor, her dark head landing heavily on the marble.

"Lilly!" He knelt by her side his whole body shaking.

"Lord Grimshaw, Lady Charlotte," Ursula appeared at the top of the stairs, her round face horrified.

"Ursula, please take my sister to her room and fetch me some water and a damp cloth," Luke's voice was calm, though he was in shock. He scooped Lilly up and carried her to the parlour, setting her down gently on the settee and kneeling next to her.

There was blood on the back of her head and he gently pushed away some of her hair to see that one of her hairpins had stabbed her near the base of her skull. With shaking fingers he pulled it out of her skull, grimacing as more blood appeared. Taking out his handkerchief he folded it and pressed it to her head just as Ursula returned.

"I'm so sorry sir, I'd just gone out to get her some tea," the nurse was pale.

"It's not your fault, don't worry," Lord Grimshaw said earnestly, taking the damp cloth with his free hand and wiping Lilly's brow.

"Her ankle sir," Ursula motioned to Lilly's left ankle which was swollen and red, a bruise already forming.

"Send Jeremy for the doctor, he'll know which one." Luke concentrated on Lilly's head, the bleeding already beginning to slow. "Come on Lilly, wake up," he murmured, wiping her brow.

There was no one he could blame for his but himself. It he hadn't left her she would be fine, if he only kissed her again she'd be awake and aware of his feelings. He sat and watched her, thoughts forming in his mind, slowly at first and than more quickly and with determination; too long had he spent focusing his whole life around his sister, doing whatever he could to help her, to protect her. He'd fought bitterly with his mother about her, convinced his father not to send her away and even sacrificed some of his education to look after her. But now it was time to put himself first, if only this one time.