Rushbrooke End (Book 4)

Chapter 32

 "A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode.'" - J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Luke had, in all truthfulness, meant to write to Lilly, but every time he'd attempted to put pen to paper he'd found himself unable to write anything resembling an appropriate letter. He'd put it off time and time again, promising himself he'd get it written later.

The time when he was not fretting about Lilly and what to say to her, he spent with Adeline, talking to her about Charlotte and Lilly as they strolled around London or sat in the snowy parks, eating hot chestnuts and rich hot chocolate.

"It's clear you're very much in love with Lilly," Adeline said wistfully one afternoon as they walked by the grand window displays of the shops.

"Is it?" Luke asked, slightly surprised.

"Yes, and I don't blame you, she sounds like a marvellous girl."

"Even with her opinions about Charlotte?"

"Luke," Adeline pulled him to the side of the busy pavement, looking up at him with an expression of bemused concern on her delicate features. "Just because she has different opinions about your sister, does not make her wrong or inconsiderate. Now I know that you were upset, but I think you may have overreacted. Lilly isn't a bad person or a spiteful one and for all I know she may be right. It may be best for Charlotte to be where she is. Yes," she raised a hand when it Luke opened his mouth and he let her continue. "I know that it's an awful place and that some of what they do seems like torture, my mother was locked up in a sanitarium for six years, but maybe it would be for the best to leave Charlotte there to heal and recover if she can."

"I'm sorry about your mother," Luke began and, to his surprise and embarrassment he felt tears well up in his eyes. Adeline had the good grace to pretend she didn't notice as he spoke, his voice a little unsteady. "Maybe you're right, I've been terribly rude to her and I feel awful. I know she had only the best intentions and now I fear that I've gone and thrown everything away. I've managed to push her away because of my sister and now my sister is gone and I fear I may have lost Lilly as well."

"I don't think you have," Adeline laughed softly. "If she's anything like what you've told me than I'm sure she will forgive you. Will she be cross with you at first and put up a fight? Yes, but trust me Luke, she will come around soon enough and it will be like you never fought."

"Are you sure?"

"If it does not go that way than I am surprised and perhaps you should rethink your match," she smiled sadly again and Luke resisted the urge to hug her.

"Thank you Adeline, you are right of course, I shall write immediately and return to Norfolk and tell her. Now, may I escort you to tea?"

"That would be lovely thank you. I am happy for you," she took his arm as they rejoined the crush of the crowd that carried them down Regent Street and towards the tearooms.

Luke returned the hotel early that evening and sat down at the desk. He drew a fresh piece of paper towards him and started to write, knowing exactly what he was going to say:

My dearest Lilly,

I am so sorry I have not written until now. I wanted to, believe me I did, but I could not find the words and I was afraid I would not be able to convey my meaning accurately enough.

But, now that I realize I acted horribly and I cannot say how sorry I am, I love my sister yes, but I love you as well and it would be foolish of me to throw my happiness away for the sake of my sister. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me, I shall return in two days time and hope to apologize to you in person.