New School...New Crush?

John is Hurt...

    Me and Raymond are going pretty well. We haven't argued yet which is good, but can be pretty bad. Anyways, Raymond asked me out yesterday, same time John said he liked me and wanted to date me on the 20. I don't really know John but I know what it feels like to have a crush. I didn't know how to let him down easy. I mean when Bob told me that he didn't feel the same way...well I was crushed. It was like my heart sank. So I don't want to hurt John, but I want to let him know that I am with someone. I don't want to lead him on or anything.

  It is the next day and I'm still trying to find a way to tell John that I am with someone. At lunch after my friends left to class and it was only me and Raymond left, we walked around. Raymond saw something was bothering me and finally decided to ask.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"Um.. yeah I'm okay." I replied looking away.

"Are you sure? You haven't looked me in the eyes at all during lunch and your mind seems to be a thousand miles away."

"Well.. *sigh* there's this guy." I replied looking away shamefully and trailing off as I see his reaction.

"A guy?" Raymond ask in his southern accent, smiling but his eyes says something different.

"Yeah. I want to tell you. I mean no secrets right?" He nods at me and motions for me to continue. "It's just I don't want you getting mad at me." Raymond looked at me and his eyes full of worry were turned into compassion.

"Sara I won't get mad." He said his eyes and voice soft. I finally gaze into his eyes and decided to tell him. I mean it isn't much of a big deal... right?

"Do you know.. John?" I asked expecting him to not know. I look at his once soft eyes, now turn into anger.

"What about him?" Raymond asked his voice hinting aggravation.

"Somehow he found me yesterday on facebook. Then he got my number and told me he had a crush on me. He says he wants to date me but I'm with you now." I said really fast as I watch his face turn into anger and his eyes turn into jealousy.

"That prick!" Raymond says unexpectantly. He seemed to be very jealous of John, it's actually kind of cute. He looks at me and his expression immediately went away. His posture loosened and I watched as he became relieved. "Sara. I don't like that guy. I have never liked John since I been here. He is just wanting to get his train wet. He doesn't care about the person just getting some." Raymond nodded his head in disgust and we continued walking around.

"Oh. Well that's nasty." I replied hesitantly. As we were walking I see John up ahead. I glance at Raymond and see him get mad at the sight of John. "Hey just stay calm" I told him as we passed him and went up the stairs.

   As we were wandering around we stopped at a staircase and then ran into Robert. We talked for a little bit with him and was leaning over the side rail (it is brick concrete that goes up to chest in height) When suddenly John grabs my backpack and shoves me forward then back again saying, "don't fall". I jumped around and watched him walk off and looked at Raymond. His eyes had a burning flame of hatred in them. His fist were clenching and he was saying something under his breath.

"I don't like him either but-" I stopped myself as Raymond eyes met mine. His eyes had jealousy in them and I could see the protectiveness in them as well.

"Sara I think the next time I see him I may just punch him." Raymond said trying to call down. I looked at him with a smile on my face. I couldn't hold it in any longer and busted out laughing..

    After lunch I get a text from John.

Hey is that "raymond" your boyfriend?

Okay so I know this is going to hurt. It may feel like a punch in the gut and you may become depressed or whatever. But yes Raymond is my boyfriend. He asked me out last night.

What!?

What do you mean what?

You know how many times he hurt tamara feelings!? I thought just nevermind. I trusted you. Bye

Umm.... Who is tamara? And I'm sorry. That's why I was going to tell you and let you down easy. That's why I didn't lead you on. That's why I was truthful amd not mean by it.... I'm sorry that you feel that I broke your trust... and this will probably be awkward in class now but if you want... bye

His ex that he has dated several times and I really wanted you bad I thought you would actually wait but I was wrong

Oh... didn't know that about him.... I understand you are mad and hurt and maybe depressed. But I had eyes for Trey since before thanksgiving.... He had the courage to talk to me... I didn't know if you actually liked me or anything because you wouldnt talk. But...I guess you were wrong. I'm sorry

Don't apologize I thought you were different.

Im sorry i guess I'm normal then.

I was mad. I was hurt. There was a pain in my chest I can't describe. It was burning and tightening and painful. I was devastated yet upset that he felt that way. I took a moment to breathe and then we made up. He apologized and then congratulated me and raymond. By the end of the day I was so worn out for going through so many emotions today. It was so long. 

(So... yeah. Sorry it's so long.)