New School...New Crush?

Quinn and the Breakup

     Over Christmas break, I met this girl on facebook. Her name is Quinn. She sent me a friend request, and I accepted. We began to talk and it turns out she is Ethan's ex! Yeah! I was a little worried to become her friend due to that, however I wanted to see how it will go. We talked a lot about Ethan, and me and her have become quite close. We talk everyday now, and we know one another pretty well. We confide in one another, and we help one another through everyday problems. Then, it happened. I was hanging out with her when she tells me how she feels. She still likes Ethan. Big time. She wants him back, and I am standing in her way. I felt terrible. Her seeing me with him must hurt her, and it hurts Raymond too, maybe I should call it quits? I spent 3 days thinking about it. Wether I should call it quits or not. My mind was going a thousand miles an hour, and I couldn't think straight. I didn't want anybody hurting however, my decision will hurt people. Being with Ethan hurts Quinn and Raymond, but breaking up with him will hurt him. He is my best friend. I can confide in him. If I break up, not only am I losing a boyfriend, but also my best friend. I didn't know what to do.

Wednesday:

       Me and Ethan have been dating for 3 days, and he has been acting weird. He doesn't flirt with me no more, he rarely talks with me, and when we do talk, it's only light talk. It's the type of talk you have with strangers, you know like, 'How's the weather?" type of talk. I tried asking him about it and he says he doesn't know why he is like that. I began to feel something in the pit of my stomach. It was warm but yet cold, like fuzzy but sharp. I couldn't describe it but it made me afraid.  I told Quinn how I felt, and she started coaching me on my feelings. Telling me that I shouldn't feel that way and since I do I should call it quits. She is my friend, so I took her advice. That night, I was talking to him and decided that the feeling was to much. I couldn't take it. So we broke up. At first he said okay, then he told me he will fight for me back. It made me feel honored, but not at the same time. Is he just messing with me? Is he being serious? 

Friday:

         Me and Ethan have been broken up for 2 days, and school just started back. He won't talk to me, and he won't even look at me. Quinn is suddenly by his side again, but oh well. I have a pain inside of me, I feel broken, lost, dark, and numb. I couldn't be happy, I couldn't smile, and I couldn't even life anymore. Raymond wasn't speaking with me, and I just lost my best friend. He was my everything, and I lost him. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have broken it off. I shouldn't have done none of this. I should have stayed with him, not take her advice. He seems to be smiling with her, and all I want is for him to be happy. I walk the halls, feeling lost, I don't feel anything anymore and darkness seems to be wrapping around me. I am hurt, and it is all my fault. 

(So, yeah we broke up. I am still thinking of why we did. Maybe I will figure that out soon.)