We Fuck The Pain Away. (Motionless in white)

I Curse The Day That I Let You In.

Chapter 18

Marina's POV

It's been a month since I last saw or spoke to Chris. I had no choice but to see Josh. After all, he did father my baby.

Jared got a call from Beau one day and said he had to go back home to Phoenix to start a new tour, so I won't see him for a long while.

Over this part month, I've received a few text messages from Chris and unanswered phone calls. If I answer either one, I'm not even sure what to say. I'll be at a loss for words.

Though, I did keep the texts. They were really sweet and...made me smile so much. It proved that he does love me but respects me enough to give me space when I say I need it.

The first text was on the first week of the month. It read...

Chris: Hey...just checking up on you. I know you don't want to see me and I completely respect that. I'll give you as much time as you need. Just let me know if you and Joel are okay. I worry. I worry about you because...well, you know damn well I love you. Please reply...I want to know you still think about me...

Second week, first text...

Chris: I take it you don't really think about me anymore. I dont blame you. I mean, you might be thinking about me right now because you're reading this...Marina, I love you. Fuck! If I could and if it didn't feel forbidden or some shit, I'd rush to your place and steal you like the first night we fell in love. I think about it everyday and I wish I could relive that night so I could hold you, touch you, kiss you, make love to you all over again. I wish you'd answer my calls...

Second text of the second week...

Chris: Baby, I miss your face. I miss your touch. Those lips. I need to hold you, tell you I love you and how much I need you. I went to look for you earlier but...nobody was home. I guess you guys were out. I miss the little guy. He looks a lot like you. I wish I could call him mine... Just like I wish I could call you mine again.

The third week, I only received one text.

Chris: I saw Josh with Joel today. I wasn't aware that you let him take him. Marina, I really hope you don't fall in love with Josh. That'll truly just shatter every piece of my heart that's already broken. Babe, you have my heart...please take care of it because I feel you letting it slip away, slowly. Don't let me go. Just like I won't let you go. Hold my heart, it beats for you and only you anyways. Love it like it loves you.

And the last text I received was from today. This morning, around ten, I woke up to another text from Chris. This was different in some parts. It read...

Chris: Well, today as you may know, we leave for tour. I'm guessing Josh told you. Yeah, of course he did, well, I wanted to see if you'd respond to me now that I'm leaving. Can I come over and say goodbye? I'd really like to see you before we head to the airport. Please reply. I want to know if I should let go...or continue to fight.

Guess what I did! Yup...I texted back.

Me: Come say goodbye. All the guys will be here too so you won't be the only one. I want to wish you luck on all of your shows, though, you won't need me to wish it. You always play an amazing show on your own. Anyways, get your ass over here c:

He instantly replied with...

Chris: Am I going crazy or did you just reply back? I'll be right there.

*****

Devin, Kylie, Brandon, Franccesca, Ryan, Ricky, and Josh had arrived and we were all saying goodbye. I waited for Chris to get here and just as I was about to sit, the doorbell sounded.