Chapter Thirty Eight.

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"Rachel, it's time." Calvin whispered in the bed beside me.

I glanced absently over at the clock and sighed, it was almost six in the evening and the sun would be setting in thirty minutes. I knew exactly how long because I'd been lying here awake for hours on end trying to rest, but knowing that sleep wasn't going to come for me. I hadn't fully garnered how to quiet all of the billions of thoughts in my head enough for me to get even close enough to a relaxed state to sleep. On top of that, I was too nervous.

Being a vampire now didn't really make me feel any stronger about our situation than I had before. I was still afraid of what the outcome would be, with or without my extra power. It didn't make my fear subside any. All day long while I'd been lying in bed trying to sleep, the millions of things that could go wrong circulated in my brain. I tried relentlessly to force myself believe that seven of us really could take down an entire compound. Calvin seemed confident in our shot, and so did Cromley and Renard, but it was hard to make my logical thinking mind to imagine an outcome that didn't end in one or all of us dying.

I shook my head at myself, rolling over in the bed to face Calvin. He lifted his arm for me and pulled me over into a hug. "Everything will be ok, Rachel." He whispered. "I'm going to be sure that our daughter and you are both taken care of."

I sat up on my elbow and looked at him seriously. "Calvin, if it comes down to it, and you have to choose between us, please don't choose me." I whispered. "I know you want to keep us both safe, but promise me you'll pick her over me."

Calvin's eyes watered, something I could easily see even with the curtains all drawn and the lamp off. "I promise." He said shallowly and I nodded as he leaned forward to kiss my forehead before he pulled back the blankets. "Anyway, it won't be an issue because you've got all of your hot fighting skills now." He smiled at me, trying to lighten my mood.

I couldn't remember anymore how many times Renard had laid me out when he was training Lexton and me earlier. If I'd been human anymore I'd have shattered every bone in my body. Luckily it didn't hurt too badly, and I finally started to get a few of the maneuvers he was showing me.

"I'll have you remember that I was quite scrappy before my extra training." I pointed out. "Don't you remember me kneeing Marco in the junk on live television, or the time I held that guy at knife point?" I smiled.

Calvin narrowed his eyes. "Oh, trust me, I remember that well." He told me. "It was a sight that would not be easily forgotten."

He shook his head as he smiled at me and went over to the chair by the table where the blue bag with our clothes that Logan had gone out to pick up were. He pulled out his fitted black shirt and long black pants before handing the bag over to me.

The seriousness snuck back in. Our actions became mechanical. Shirt off, new black shirt on. Shorts off, pants on. Hair up, teeth brushed. On and on it went until we were both standing in the center of the room, comically looking a little like we were ready to go rob a bank in our all black and boots. Nothing was left to do. This was it, our last moment together alone before we'd have to join the others and move out.

"Come here." He whispered, opening his arms.

I stepped forward into his grasp and I held him as tight as I could while he leaned his head down on top of mine. "I love you." I whispered into his shirt, trying not to cry. I knew what we were about to do was dangerous and that there was a chance this could actually be it...the it. The last time I hold him and he holds me and we profess our undying love.

He held my face and looked down at me seriously. "I love you now," He whispered. "I'll love you tomorrow, I'll love you next week, I'll love you next year, I'll love you next century, and I'll always love you, Rachel." He kissed my head again. "Nothing will change it, you hear me?" He asked. "I will love you for the rest of time, and that starts with me taking you to get our daughter, and that's what we're going to do." Then he grinned, cocking his head to the side. "When this is all over, I'll take you to get some cobbler."

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