Most Wanted [To Be Published]

Chapter 24 - unedited

Sulli's

Sunday.

I released a loud sigh and didn't bother to open my eyes. I feel tired. I feel... I don't know.

Fuck.

How many hours of sleep did I get? Two? Three? Mabuti na lang Linggo ngayon because honestly, I'm too lazy to even move a finger. Just what the fuck's happening to me. Well...

Yeah, Captain Obvious. That's because of September fucking Imperial.

Heck. I know I did the right thing but why am I regretting it? It hurts so much. But I don't wanna risk everything with her.

I just...it's hard to decide. It's...it's...fucking overwhelming that I've been cussing consecutively.

How many days had passed anyways? Ah, yeah. A week. A week of not seeing her or hearing her voice. A week of no September annoying me, seducing me, or ruining my fucking day with just her appearance. No September making me happy and feel loved.

Just because of a fucking decision. I need to leave her. I have to. For her sake. For our sake, most especially.

Gonna give credit with her choice of career. Very well. I'm in love with a killer and I still accepted her. Corny it may sound but I love her, that's why.

Love's about accepting a person even at his or her worst, isn't it?

I touched my lips and again, sighed soundly. Our last kiss...it hurts so much. It hurts that it's getting harder to breathe.

Kung kailan tanggap ko na ang nararamdaman ko, saka naman humantong sa ganito.

Nasaan na yung sinasabi ko that I'll fight for her? Wala, naduwag. Not that I want to be a coward but because I need to stop considering my feelings in order to make things right. At least.

I wiped my tears. I'm crying again. This is not so me. Since when did I cry? When Jay died? When I realized I'm all alone and I have to be independent?

Natigil ako sa pag-iisip nang makarinig nang mahihinang katok. I sniffed and took a deep breath. Relax, Sulli...

"Momma?"

I stood up even though I don't want to. I don't want to disappoint her. Ayos nang ako ang masaktan, huwag lang yung bata. She's just a kid. And I need to act like an adult for her. Because I'm her mother, too.

I, again, heard consecutive knocks on my door so I moved faster. Nang matapos mag-ayos ay binuksan ko na ang pinto. I smiled when I saw Sydney with her morning look, all cute and adorable. Guess, there's still reason to be happy.

Siya lang ang meron ako na nagpapaalala sa akin kay September.

"Morning, Syd." I greeted. I kneeled down and kissed her cheek before holding her hand.

"Morning, Momma..." She said and yawned. "Hungry..."

"I'll cook, no worries." Nang makarating kami sa kusina ay kusa na siyang naupo habang nakasunod ang mata sa akin. I looked at the fridge to see what's available. "What do you want, little one?"

"Hmm...pancakes!"

I chucled. "Pancakes, it is."

--

"Momma?"

"Yeah?"

We are currently watching Adventure Time. This is her suggestion after we took our breakfast since it's still early, and most of all, it's Sunday. I asked her if she wants to go some places but Syd declined. So, here we are.