Lessons I learnt from life.

Chapter 11: From people.

Lessons learnt from people.

Well you know when I say people, I'm not referring to one person or a few people. I'm referring to a certain majority of people I have experienced my life with.

Today. At this moment. I feel this desperate need to vent this out and type it out irrespective of who cares to read this. Irrespective of how many words its going to be in the end.

So I'm going to talk about people I really, genuinely love. People whose tactics annoy me to a certain point that makes me write this. People who are constantly trying to bring you down. People who pretend that they care for you. People who are so fake even plastic dolls are jealous of them. People who can't be content with what they have. People who are always underestimating themselves. Ugh. People again!

As a writer, I am blessed with enormous amount of empathy I just can't explain. So, when people come out to me. Speak to me about their problems and whatever it is. I try to understand them by trying to feel their pain standing in their shoes. I do that. Trust me.  I may have not gone through what they have but all I can do is atleast try to feel how does it feels to be in their place. Well, I do agree that not everyone has the same mindset. And not everyone can understand what I want to explain and not everyone has gone through the same thing as me.

Just like the different sizes of our fingers. Not all our fingers are the same isn't it? We don't look at one finger of ours and say that my pinky finger should have been the size of my middle finger. We don't! We accept the difference. That's what we should do to our own self. We should accept our differences we have from other people. We should not let it get to our heads.

Stop comparing yourself with others. I know. I know this is hard. We all are insecure people. But, for godsake. Stop being jealous. Stop hating someone for what they have and you don't. Stop trying to bring down someone just because you ain't able to reach that place. Stop feeling this way. When someone's changing their ways, you change yours!

Stop looking at people above you! Rather look at people below you. Who dream every day and night to have something that you got without dreaming of it.

Why are people so inconsiderate and so ungrateful to what they have? And most of all people are so so so full of low self esteem.

I have a major problem dealing with people who have low self esteem. Like, they are so adamant on not understanding that THEY ARE actually capable of conquering the world. Well, not actually the world but you know what I mean.

And they are those people I genuinely love that even the word love seems a short notation to describe how amazing they are. Because, you know those people come to me and without any hesitation they go, "You know what happened today Mari?" Oh god. They share their happiness with me. They make me a part of their happiness. Apart from everyone closer to them. They chose me to share their little piece of happiness. I feel overwhelmed. I truly feel blessed. And I feel more important and more special when someone speaks to me when they are sad. Depressed. Angry. Concerned. Or whatever. You know the feeling when someone comes to you when they might not even feel like talking to someone else. But, they are. They are speaking out to none other than YOU.

Isn't it the most amazing feeling ever?

I have always judged people on the basis of this.
I categorize two kind of people around me. The ones I want to be around. And the ones I need to cut off really bad. The ones I want to be around is the ones whom I need and the ones who need me. The ones who have not a tad bit of jealousy with me and the ones who are more than happy for me when I'm happy. And the ones I need to cut off are the ones ahead of me and still looking back at me and feeling jealous of my progress. Feeling that I may reach above them one day. Oh my goodness. You are already ahead of me! Why do you have to bother about my rise or fall? Why? Why do you care at the first place? JUST WALK AHEAD! MOVE!

And then they are those people who are fake as anything. I'm tired of these people basically.
You know why? Because these people work with you in the same decieving manner. I'll tell you how it works.

Sweet talk at first
>>
Becoming good friends
>>
Knowing you in and out
>>
speaking your mind everytime you talk them
>>
You getting comfortable with them
>>
Them betrjaying you/leaving you/cheating on you/backstabbing you and the list goes on.

Isn't it this way everytime?

Now, let me write what I always do like in the other chapters. I vent first and then explain what I have learnt.

You know what I learn from these kinda people. That it's your life and you have total authority of what you let inside your head as well as your heart. And, you know how little is your heart. But, still like all the wise people in the world, we think we are capable of handling the pain, the hardship, the stupid compromise we have to go through. Just, because we can't cut them off and neither leave them.

You know what mate? You need focus! You have a life ahead of you. Even if you are 30 or 40. I'll tell you if you haven't made the most of your life. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING!

One fine day, you'll probably sit by your grandchild/children. You won't remember today as a struggle. You will remember today as a day that made you who you are. Why do people emphasise on making memories you know? Because people want to have stories with them. And in the end every story is inspiring in one or the other way. BELIEVE ME.

So, if you are a person who is insecure. Don't be so hard on yourself man. Just because you see someone is better than you. You don't have to think that you CANT do better than him/her. YOU CAN!

You can do it. You just have to BELIEVE in yourself.

You should never think that, "What capable I am infront of him/her?"

Man, If you look down upon yourself! Then, how in the world will anyone look up for you? HOW?
You have it within you. You have the spark. And you're letting it die because of your fears. You are too kind and too naive. You know? You can't let go off people? Go find new ones!

You don't even need such people because you know why? As soon as there's a tad bit of progress in you they are going to come back to you. MARK MY WORDS. The same people who mock your talent, your abilities, jealous of your progress. Will look forward to be with you. (Based on personal experience)

And lastly, you know what you should have. Focus. Will power. Determination. And passion.

Oh god. Passion is everything that can lead you to achieve something you really want. Trust me on this. I'll speak about this in another chapter soon.

And by now, all these things you have read above have ignited a lantern or hope or spark inside you. You feel somewhat motivated. Now you take a deep breath and try to think about things you need to focus on, you really want to achieve and, at the same time you are thinking of how hard it is going to be to cut of with toxic people.

I'll tell you something, "slow and steady wins the race"

That means, you need to take smaller steps towards your goals. Obviously you feel motivated and inspired and at the end your procastination level kicks in and after a few days you are back to being the person you were. So, my intention of making these words reach you, build you, would be lost.

And i really don't want that to happen. If you are going to take smaller steps. You are going to face some or the other difficulties. But, I beg you. Don't give up. No. Please don't. Rise up again. And face it whatever you are going through. You will make it through it.

And again PEOPLE! Mind your own business. Like, for seriously. Unless and until someone gives you the authority to mind their business then you have absolutely no right to say or do something to anyone. Be. It. Anyone.

You are no one to judge alright? No one. If you go around and speak about someone to someone else. The chances are, that someone else is going to say about you talking about someone else to someone else. You see how the loop follows? Then, its amazing to mind your own business and make your way towards your progress.

Good luck!! And all the best for your future endeavours. 🙌

Until next time,

Take care

~Em.