Sam Drake Imagines

Insecurities (Rafe Adler)

It's times like these when I drift off into my own little world, thinking of nothing else but being away from this business party in celebration for their successful year. People are dressed in fancy clothing, all having an intelectual or business conversation that I cannot help but yawn at.
What had made me come back to reality was from the nudge of Rafe's arm when he noticed that I was idly staring at the wall.

"How long have you and your wife been married?" One of Rafe's older friends asks, smiling widely at Rafe and me. I immediately bring back the fake smile that I was wearing the whole night.

Rafe swirls the champagne in his hand, glancing at me before answering. "Was it three years, darling?"

I place my hand around his arm, "Yes it has!" I exclaim as our group smiles and awwws, remembering their marriage. Another small chatter erupts in our group, talking about their childhood and how they met one another before settling to marriage.

Thinking about it, marriage is like a leap of faith, taking this big risk to be bonded forever: sometimes it works out, other times it crumbles. For Rafe and me? It's almost impossible to know where our marriage is heading. His anger tantrums frighten me and they are happening so often that it's getting too much to handle.

The group disperses and leaves to others to talk to. I excuse myself from Rafe to get another plate of dessert, the only thing that's enjoyable in this occasion.

Managing my way through the crowd, I spot the buffet table and quickly grab a plate with a variety of small cakes in the size of squares. As I head back to Rafe, I see him talking and smiling with a young woman who's playing with her hair as she flutters her eyelashes at him.

I feel a burning sensation in my stomach and I walk faster towards them, greeting the woman with a smile as I wrap my hand around Rafe's arm. "Want a cake, sweetie?" I ask, staring at the woman as I hold the plate up to Rafe's nose.

He politely objects as I place the plate to a passing by waiter.

"This is your. . . Girlfriend?" She narrows her eyes at me while I keep myself calm by gritting my teeth.

"Wife, actually," I correct her, taking a small step forward.

"Ah, well. . ." She scans me with a grin on her face before looking back at Rafe. "I expected her to be, like, more. . . Um, I don't know. . ." She waves her hands in the air as she slightly flips her hair with it. "More of your type, you know? Like, more smarter looking and, um, prettier. . . Someone that can really handle you." She smirks at him but Rafe scoffs, placing his hand on my waist.

"This is my wife you're talking about and I choose whatever damn woman I marry!" He points a finger at her, but she doesn't move a flinch.
The girl sighs. "Whatever. . . It was nice meeting you, Mr. Adler. I hope we meet again someday." Before turning back to leave, she winks at him as she walks away with her heels clicking against the marble floor and disappears through the crowd.

"Who was she?" I ask, but when I look up at him, he stares at the crowd. I nudge on his arm, grabbing his attention and asking him one more time.
"Uh, assistant's sister," he looks down at me with a reassuring smile on his face. "No one to care about." His eyes glimmer, but this heavy feeling in my chest won't go away.

I sigh as I shake my head, "I'll be in the bathroom." I walk towards the bathroom with my gut wrenching in my stomach, but as I see the bathroom coming to view, I hear the same, snarky, valley-girl voice. "She's not fit for him, honestly. She's like a kitten. I would be a better wife and she could be the maid," A group giggle erupts and I clench my fists into a ball as tears start to form. "She's like an example of a woman who would grow old as a cat lady."

My throat tightens as a lump rises in my throat and I'm trying my hardest to swallow it down. As I reach for the bathroom's door handle, I am pulled back into someone's chest and I can't help but let everything go. A hand pulls my chin up to see Rafe looking at me and then at the crowd, turning his back on them.

"You're causing a show," he says, wiping the tears away from my cheeks. "It's embarrassing, but what do I know, you're a woman."
That felt like a slap on the face coming from him. "Oh, shush." I sniffle as he chuckles lightly.

"When we go home, we'll watch that show you love so much," we let go of our embrace and hold hands as we walk towards the crowd. "And maybe Ben and Jerry's."

"Häagen-Dazs." I correct him and we both slightly laugh together. For the rest of the night, I cannot help looking at him and feeling lighter inside knowing that I'm married to a man that I don't deserve. And for the first time, I actually feel like things are going well for our marriage.