Loving Someone//Phan

philip

Phil closed the bathroom stall and leaned his head against the door. Tears began escaping his eyes as he tried to control his rapid breaths. He clenched his fists with frustration until his nails began to dig hard into his skin. His head hurt, his chest hurt, every bit of his body ached. All he could think about was when this awful day would be over.

Someone help. Please.

Phil had never been to such a terrible school. At his old high school, bullies were considered to be the lowest of the low. No one really messed with others, and Phil easily made friends. Here, people didn't mind if they were being rude in front of their friends. In fact, it seemed like the cool thing to do; he had learned the hard way. The word fag or pretty boy were thrown around at anyone who wasn't following the trend. Phil had made the mistake of thanking someone who called him a pretty boy. Now he had a bruise on his side as a reminder to not do that.

I want to go home. I can't take it. Help.

Phil considered walking to the front office to call his mum, but she didn't have a car to come get him. Plus, she had 4 other children to deal with at home. Each and every one of them were handfuls on their own.

He wished he could call his dad.

For his mums sake, Phil tried really hard to be the "father figure" of the family, as he is the oldest. However, he sometimes wished he could just relax and be a good brother without having to raise his own siblings. It was a little embarrassing to walk through the grocery store with 4 other red heads either yelling, fighting, or knocking items off the shelves.

There was a small part inside of Phil that wanted to be separated from his family at times. Maybe that's why he dyed his hair. That way, if his siblings began to act up, he could slip to the side as if he was entirely another person. It didn't make him feel good about himself.

Now as Phil stood crying in the men's bathroom, all he wanted was to feel safe at home. He would give anything to play tea party with Lacey or watch Martyn accidentally break Phil's belongings, just to get out of this wretched school.

Phil wiped his eyes on his t-shirt and unlocked the stall door. As he looked into the mirror, a scared, tired looking boy stared back at him. Phil sighed at his image. His eyes were puffy and red with dark circles lurking underneath, but this point, he had stopped caring.
As soon as he stepped outside of the bathroom, someone slammed into Phil and knocked him and his belongings to the ground. His papers scattered across the floor as if running away.

"Goddammit," he muttered.

"Watch where you're going, fag," He heard. A word that had been thrown at him many times today.

"Hello? Are you gonna apologize?" Phil looked up into the angry eyes of a very muscular blonde boy.

"I-I'm sorry," Phil murmured timidly.
"What? I can't hear you, dammit." The boy raised his voice, causing Phil to wince.

"I s-said I'm sorry, okay?" Tears began to form in his eyes. He had had enough. He no longer cared about looking strong in front of his peers.

"Man, what a pussy," the boy laughed. A small crowd was beginning to form, only encouraging the bully.

"Who the hell is Buffy?" The boy grabbed Phil by the collar of his shirt, causing his head to jolt back painfully.

"It's just... It's a TV show I like," Phil practically whispered. He was terrified. The blonde boy wouldn't let go of Phil's shirt.

"Sounds pretty gay," someone called out from the growing crowd. The bully chuckled and nodded his head.

There was a small hesitation as Phil mentally begged for mercy, his head pulsing with heat. For a moment, it looked as though the boy would let go of his shirt and leave him be. Phil shut his eyes in terror.

Please, let the bully leave. Please.

Instead, he directly pushed him into the wall, connecting Phil's skull with the hard wall behind him.

Sparks flashed before his eyes, and then his vision went black. When it cleared, the bully and his audience had dispersed and disappeared. He was alone.

Lost of all energy, Phil let his body slide down the wall. His belongings were still spread across the floor, too far to reach without getting up. At the moment, all he could think to do was sit with his head in his knees until the day was over. He bit the inside of his cheek to focus his mind somewhere else.

Out of the corner of his eye, Phil noticed a certain brown haired boy sulking in the corner. Their eyes met for a split second until Phil angrily looked away. If this boy was going to make fun of him as well, he wasn't going to wait around. He got up, gathered his belongings, and quickly walked away from the brown haired boy.

Only 5 more classes to go.
Help.