Connor Franta's little sister ( O2L / Sam Pottorff Fanfiction )

Chapter 11

Unedited

Christines POV

"Are you sure that you're fine?" Connor asked me, the worries noticeable. He had kept an eye on me for the last hours, which was getting really annoying.

I groaned and slapped Connors hand away, which was wrapped around my waist. "Yes!" I exclaimed, hoping he would leave me alone.

I truly loved my brother, but he was getting really annoying. Not the kind of annoying where you laugh along, but the kind if annoying where you want to slap them in the face.

Even the rest of O2L was keeping an eye on me, which was really creeping me out. Six boys who were watching everything you did.

A few minutes ago, I wanted to go to the bathroom, and wasn't even allowed to lock the door. I can tell you that it is scary as heck to pee with an unlocked door.

We were walking towards IHOP, while people were staring at us. I suppose that I could understand. I mean, it was a bit odd to see six guys surrounding a girl while walking over the streets. I was feeling a little uncomfortable myself, to be honest. Talking about that, I was constantly tripping, since Kian was walking in front of me. The guy was tall, and because of this, I couldn't see where I was walking.

The time we arrived at IHOP, everybody was looking at us. A few girls even asked the boys for some photo's or autographs. I still wasn't used to people asking for pictures. Of course, they didn't ask me for pictures, but my brother. But to the point, I thought it was rather rude to interrupt people while they were doing something.

We sat down at a booth, and looked at our menu's, deciding what to eat.

Pancakes, chocolate pancakes, strawberry pancakes, everything pancakes. All I could see on the menu were pancakes. It made my stomach twist in ways, you wouldn't like your stomach to twist in. Although, it was a great reminder to me that I shouldn't eat the food on the menu, unless I wanted to clean up my puke from the floor.

I nudged Connor in his side, wanting his attention. But of course, Connor thought something was wrong with me. "What is is Chris? Are you hurt? Should I bring you back?" People were turning their attention to us, since Connor was talking rather loudly. I gave him a glare, and shook my head in the process.

"No, you idiot. I just wanted to say I don't want anything off the menu. It's making me sick."

It wasn't that hard to understand what I was talking about, but Connor took it differently. "What?! Are you starving yourself, Christine?" Was he seriously asking me that? A loud groan escaped my mouth as I let my head fall on the table, which hurt. A lot.

I wish I had never done it.

Never in my life. I tell you, never. Never in my fifteen, almost sixteen, years in existence had this ever happened to me. And I wished, prayed and hoped, it would never happen to me. But here it was. It was terrible. The worst thing in my life had just happened.

People were babysitting me.

They were actually babysitting me. I was stuck in the hotel room, with Kian and Sam looking after me. Great combination if you ask me, note the sarcasm.

My body was spread out over the couch, while my head was hanging above the ground. Kian and Sam were constantly watching me, probably looking at me with weird looks on their faces. But I didn't care at the moment, it was like I turned my humanity off, I couldn't feel anything. No happiness, no love, no boredom, no sadness, no nothing.

I stared at the floor, which was very clean. Not a single sign of dust. The caretakers did a very good job in cleaning the hotelroom, if the caretakers actually cleaned rooms, I didn't care enough to think about it.

"Christine." A voice said, rather loud, what made me lose my balance as I landed with my face on the ground before my body followed. A few seconds passed, when someone helped me up to sit on the couch. My face was still blank, I refused to show any emotion until they un-babysitted me. Which they probably wouldn't do for a while, so I stayed emotionless Christine.

As I looked up, my eyes met the beautiful brown eyes of Sam.

Sam.

I had a special scar for Sam on my arm. But he wouldn't know that. No one would know to who these scars belonged.

"Christine." Sam said again.

"You said that already." I answered blankly. No emotion in my voice.

Sam raised an eyebrow hearing my voice, he probably had never seen me emotionless. Well, I couldn't blame him, no one had.

"Okay.." Sam trailed off awkwardly. "I just wanted to ask if you were fine."

My head shot up, and if possible, my eyes would possibly have shot fire. "No, Sam. I am not fine. I am the opposite of fine. I am just a messed up child like all of you see me. The strange girl who cuts herself, for reasons you don't know about. You probably think that they are stupid reasons to cut. You think that cutting is wrong, well it is, but it feels great." Sam was just looking at me, so I decided to go on with my little speech.

"The pain you feel from the inside is gone. You only feel pain on the outside. It is bad too, but nothing is worse than the feeling I have inside of me. When I cut, I can let those feelings out."

I still had no emotion in my voice, but on the outside you could see different. A single tear escaped my eye, while my hands shook. I had never told anyone why I cut, no one ever knew I cut. They'd probably say it was for attention.

I noticed Sam wasn't talking, what made me look up to look into his eyes. His face was blank, but there was something off about him. His eyes brought comfort, as if he understood. But he could never understand. No one could ever understand what I was going through.

Maybe they acted like they understood, but they could never understand. Because no one was the weird one, something I had been all my life. If someone stood in my shoes, they would have given up already. Some may say that I have given up myself, since I cut. But I like to think of my cuts of wounds from the battle I'm in.

I smiled to myself; I was in a battle, and eventually I was going to win.

I held on that little hope that kept me going. Something that was going to help me win the battle. This little thing, was my big brother. He probably would never know it was him that kept me going. If something would happen to him, I wouldn't be able to go on. I would probably kill myself; the one thing that kept me going, gone.

Sam was waving his hand in front of my face, what made me look up at him. I drifted off.

"You drifted off." Sam said, as if he was reading my mind. I shook my head and snuggled into the corner if the couch.

Sam was watching me curiously, while his eyes still brought comfort. Kian wasn't in the room, what made me wonder where he was, and why he left me alone with Sam.

"Christine," I looked up, to see

Sams beautiful face. "I understand,-"

This made me angry, how dare he to say that he could understand. "No Sam, you don't. And be sure as heck to ne-" I was cut off.

I stared in disbelief at Sam. Never, never in my life had I thought this. Never when I met him. You wouldn't think that of Sam. Why?

But he was right, he understood.

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