Cry Me a River |✔️

Chapter 50- A First Step in the Right Direction

^^Ma baby!^^

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."

                     ~Frank Crane

Chapter 50

River's POV

As I left the room with Alastair to head to our room, I couldn't help but feel sullen. I knew that I was never going to gain the approval of Alastair's father yet it still bothered me.

Was this how the rest of my life was going to look like? With Alastair's father's constant gaze of disapproval?

There was so much flowing through my mind. The fear of never being accepted with a dash of worry for the events I had just laid witness to only hours ago.

It worried me. With the execution today, I could blame His Highness and his rulership but what was to happen when he was no longer the one ruling? When this cruelty was to spill over into Alastair's ruling as well, what was I to do?

I tried to speak to Alastair about it. I tried to bring up change. Yet, he wouldn't listen. I couldn't help but wonder if it was because of my breeding. That if I were from a higher-classed family with a better education then perhaps he would have listened. However, if my breeding was of his, my opinion would have been as well. It was because of my upbringing and my inexposure to such cruelty that it striked me as worse than those in the palace.

Why couldn't he see the bad in which surrounded him? It was almost as if all the cruelty and hate has ingrained themselves in him and he couldn't help but view them as the norm.

The thought of that poor older woman being dragged away by those men in armor as being considered normal caused me to shiver. I still couldn't help but feel guilty over the matter. That if perhaps I had screamed louder or run to her rescue, she wouldn't have been dragged away. It was a silly thought, taking responsibility for a situation that was completely out of my hands. Yet, I did. I was to rule beside Alastair one day and those people were going to be my responsibility. I couldn't just care one day and then switch a switch the moment we're crowned. I'd already started to care and view them as mine; there was no going back now.

Yet, somehow I still felt a bit disconnected. On one hand, I felt as if they were soon to be my responsibility. Yet, on the other hand, I worried that perhaps when the time came when I'd rule beside Alastair my opinion wouldn't matter. If he waved off my thoughts now, who was to say he wouldn't in the future?

The door to our room skidded open with a thump as Alastair immediately made his way to his wardrobe to undress. I placed myself on the bed, merely watching as I allowed my thoughts to continue circling.

"You are awfully quiet," Alastair commented as the last of his clothing fell to the floor with a muted thump.

My face heated as I struggled to keep my eyes from wandering downwards.

"Am I?" My breath shook slightly.

He hummed slightly as he slowly approached the bed, taking the form of a smirking lion approaching a quivering fawn.

His body crawled on top of mine, arms placed on both sides of my head, as he leaned down for a light peck on the lips. Though the moment he began to pull away, my fingers knotted around his silken hair and pulled him right back down. He let out a surprised gasp, to which I swallowed as my lips captured his.

Though, I wasn't quite sure what to do once my lips were on his. I was never one to take the initiative and I surely wasn't as good of a kisser as Alastair's, so I merely brushed my lips lightly against his in a simple motion, eyes squeezed shut as my hands slightly shook.