A Step in the Other Direction

~~Chapter 3~~

~~Cassidy's Point Of View~~

"No, I haven't been getting sick again. It's probably nothing," I assured him. I could see the disbelief in his eyes, "You know I haven't been that bad since...three years? I don't even know how long it's been." I was being honest, It had been a very long time since I had been really sick.

"You would tell me right? If you were getting bad again?" I looked into his dark chocolate eyes, seeing the worry and slight fear in them. He was genuinely concerned, and it made me happy, seeing that someone actually cared. Sometimes I wondered... 

But to be honest, his question surprised me. I hesitated before answering, "Of course. I would tell you and Saige if something were going on. But nothing is going on. I feel completely fine. Like I said, it's just been a rough couple of days and it's been messing with me a little. I'm just tired."

"Ok." My eyes returned to the screen, but his question made me wonder...I didn't even know why. Bowen was a friend, yes, but I never expected him to ask or care about me so much. I was just his sisters friend. But deep down, in the corners of my mind that I had buried, the slight thoughts of rejection burned in. I tried my best to keep them at bay, but sometimes, I lost that battle. 

Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Look at you, thinking that he cared about you? Ha! You really are stupid. 

I pushed the thoughts away, but it was a struggle. I closed my eyes for a moment. This happened to me a lot, not being able to control the little though that came. Those thoughts gave me these...moments when I felt like I was going deeper and deeper into that same black hole that had once tried to consume me. That's the best word of them. We had gone to a doctor to ask about them, but they honestly weren't very helpful. It was my 'depression' they said. We never went back to that doctor. I didn't have many of them anymore.

I felt a hand go around my arm, and it sent a sense of calm throughout me. I knew it was Bowen, he had done this before. I had a moment one day that we had gone to lunch. All of the parents had gone to do something, but Saige and Bowen and I stayed at the table. I have no idea why I had one, but I did. Saige knew about them, and she knew who to get me to calm down. But she had walked away at that moment, leaving Bowen and me. 

I kinda feel like he had experienced that before. But I would never ask. 

The sudden feeling of rejection and pain faded and I opened my eyes.

"S-sorry," I said. He nodded, and for some reason, a question came to mind."Bowen," I said, regretting everything I was about to say.

"Yea?" He asked. 

"The day that I told you about...you know...the thing..." 

"Yea," I looked back over to him. His eyes were looking dead into mine, and that was the only thing that kept me talking. 

"That day that I told you about everything, you said something right before Saige had walked back in," he looked confused at first, but then it slowly hit him, "You said that some people know what that kind of pain feels like. What did you mean by that?"

He didn't say anything for a minute, and I had wondered if he was going to answer. But then he said, "Umm...yea, s-some of us k-know. I mean...I know..." I could see his eyes get a far off look in them, and I couldn't help but wonder what it was.

"You don't have to tell me, it's fine," I said, trying to save him the hardship of what he might be telling me, but he waved it off. 

"No, I'll tell you," he said, his eyes looking to the door, "But it's going to be my luck that Saige walks in at the moment I start. She doesn't know the whole truth about what happened. I could never bring myself to tell her..." 

"It's ok," I said. 

"But I will tell you." He said it like it was a promise to himself. 

I nodded, and both of us looked back to the screen, where the football team was coming out. Saige walked back in a moment later, holding a bowl of popcorn. 

"I thought we were out of popcorn," Bowen said, looking into the mischievous eyes of Saige.

"We are now," she said with a laugh. She sat the bowl in the middle of us. There was probably only 20 minutes left in the movie, and by the time those 20 minutes were up, the popcorn was completely gone. 

"I swear child," I said with a laugh to Saige, "I got like three pieces! How much popcorn can you eat?"

"You have no idea...there are reasons that we rarely buy popcorn," he looked at her with a evil look, "She eats it all. I swear it's like she has a personal microwave in her room. She steals it all and leaves none for anyone else. And the one bag I saved for myself, she finds it in my room and eats it."

"Not my fault," she laughs, munching on another piece of popcorn she had taken before it was all gone.

"You were in my room looking for popcorn!" 

"No, I was in your room looking for a charger. I can't help you are awful at hiding stuff."

"It was under my bed!" 

"Like I said, you are awful at hiding stuff." 

"I swear," Bowen said under his breath, "I am going to strangle that child one day." 

"But that's murder," I said sarcastically, getting a smile from him and Saige.

He just laughed and got up, and opened the door, "I think your parents are leaving Cass."

"Really," I stood up, grabbing the jacket I had with me and my phone. 

"Saying that they are currently walking out the door...yea."

"Darn," I said, walking past him, "Bye guys!" I ran down the steps and out into the garage. My dad had just started the car when he saw me come out. I jumped in as he unlocked the door. 

"I told you we forgot something," my mom said to him.

"I am a person, not a something," I corrected, buckling up, "Use correct grammar..."

"Says the girl who is failing Language Arts..." my dad mumbled. 

"Dad!!!"

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Heyo!! Hope y'all enjoyed that chapter! So next chapter gets really intense, so are you ready? Ready Freddy? Lets go!

Lol little humor in there. Next update will be on April 14. I am traveling somewhere that night so it might come in a little late. I apologize in advance. I am part of a team and we have a competition that weekend. 

Have a great week guys! Also, I am posting a little thing in my NCIS stories book. It's not NCIS so sorry about that disappointment but I suggest you check it out! Thanks!!