A Step in the Other Direction

~~Chapter 8~~

Ohhh extra Cassidy chapter....

~~Cassidy's Point of View~~

Saige had explained to me how everything went down, from the moment he started feeling bad, to the hospital. But she was leaving out one thing. And she was about to tell me. 

"It was right after you left the other night," she said, wiping a tear away, "I was just getting ready to go to sleep and then I hear this really loud yell. I went out into the hall and heard it again. It was from Bowen's room and when I went in he was freaking out and I tried to calm him down but..." She trailed off, picking back up a moment later, "Mom ran in a minute later and he started  calming down a little so I told her to go. He fell asleep and I stayed with him the rest of the night. He woke up about an hour later and he was...broken. That's all I can call it. He wasn't himself. I let it go the next couple days but when we were at home I finally asked him. He tried to tell me what was happening but he couldn't." 

"It was only later at the hospital when I heard my mom talking to the doctor," she continued, "I had no idea about what had been happening. Something, I still don't know what happened, but he started having these...panic attack thingys. He would basically have these moments where he would just start going crazy. He started having them a long time ago, but he was able to keep them kinda quieter. The other night he couldn't get it to go away and it really took the toll on him. The thing that scares me though is that that morning that we were eating breakfast I noticed something on his arm. There was this huge scar from his elbow to about halfway up his forearm. There wasn't a doubt in my mind of where that thing came from. He had to do it that night. He was gripping at his arm and I think he accidentally cut himself."

She continued to talk until I heard something. Her eyes widened and I heard it again. 

It was a yell. 

She jumped up and ran out the door, me in her footsteps. She knocked on Bowen's door. There was a loud bang in the room. Saige pushed it open and I could barely see into the dark room. The sun hadn't even set yet. I could see a small figure next to the wall, and when Saige went up to it, I realized it was Bowen. He was curled up, his hands wrapped around his head, covering his face. My breath caught as I saw Saige kneel down next to him, and whisper something in his ear. I had never seen a responsible side of Saige, but that's what I was watching. 

I saw Bowen slightly lift his head, shining eyes falling on me. I saw a quick flash of confusion cross his face, then he let out another yelp. My adrenaline was coursing, and I couldn't think strait. What was going on? I could put together that he was having a 'panic attack', or thats what Saige had called it, but I didn't really understand.

Yet this was much more real. I could feel the pain almost radiating off of him, and I knew it was killing him on the inside.

"Bowen," I heard Saige say, "Come on, I'm going to help you up ok?" His breaths had began to slow down, and he nodded his head slightly. Saige reached down, and struggled to help him stand. She gave me a look and I knew she needed help. I slid my arm under Bowen's and slowly helped him stand. He tried to pull himself up, but his knees began to buckle. We sat him up on his beg, Saige propping him up against the back. He ran his hand over his face, the rise and fall of his chest going back to normal. 

"I...I was fine..." Bowen said under his breath. 

"Yea, yea, sure," Saige replied sarcastically. 

He gave her an annoyed look, the Bowen I knew and loved coming back out. 

Wait...love? Why did I just think that? Eh, no time to question. 

He looked over to me, a slight realization hitting him. He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off before he could say anything. 

"No need to explain. It's good." 

He looked down and winced, hand going to his arm. Saige walked over to him, gently turning his arm over. It felt strange seeing that part of Saige, a responsible and caring side. It almost made me proud. 

As she turned his arm over thought, I could see the scar Saige had told me about. It was only a thin line, but I could see it from the other side of the dark room. My guess is it was from his fingernails. It wasn't deep enough to be anything else, and I hadn't noticed one Wednesday night, and a knife cut (it hurt me to think that) would still be darker. I knew this was a pain scar. 

I had a couple of those. 

The sudden memory made me shutter, and I looked back over to Bowen. His eyes fell on me, and I gave him an 'you ok' look. He nodded his head, but I saw him just slightly nod no. He didn't mean for me to see it, but I guess you could say I can point that stuff out. 

"I'm going to go get a towel," she told him, the soothing voice I had never heard coming out. She walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

The silence was awkward until I said, "Are you ok?" 

"Yea...it's not like this is the first one I've ever had..." He looked up, a kind of rueful look in his eyes. I couldn't think of anything to say. "I know it's awkward, sorry. I just-"

"You really need to stop apologizing. This isn't your fault."

"To be honest it is. If you knew then-"

"If I knew I would probably understand but I don't know Bowen."

"Then I'll tell you." His voice was no more than a whisper. 

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Tears... So many tears... So that was that...

Sorry this was kinda late I had to go to a band competition at 3AM this morning...in ATL...

So next update will be May 19th (It will be really late in the night or early morning because I have a Football Game to go to so sorry). 

Also I would love if you commented how you are liking the story so far! I really would love the feedback!!! 

So have a good week and please vote, comment or whatever you wanna do!! Thankssssss!!!!!!!!!!