A Step in the Other Direction

~~Chapter 10~~

~~Cassidy's Point of View~~

I noticed Bowen's head begin to lull to the side, and his eyelids began to droop down. I knew it was time for me to leave. He had just told me this huge thing in his life that was killing him on the inside. That had to be horrible. The memories of a haunting event never leaving you, and then coming back up at your face everyday of your life? How could someone handle that? 

We walked back into Saige's room, her being more silent than I had ever heard. 

Wait. Had I ever head Saige be quiet? That had a very obvious answer. No. 

"Hey," I put my hand on her arm. She turned towards me, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. I enveloped her in a hug. "Everything is going to be ok. You know that right? Bowen is going to be fine. He's strong. He is going to be just fine." It almost felt like I was telling myself this. I knew he was going to be ok, right? He was going to be ok? 

He had to be. I knew he would be. I don't think I could have my life without Bowen in it-

Wait. What was I thinking? Of course I liked Bowen, as a friend. There wasn't any more to it. Was there? Did I really... like Bowen? I couldn't think of that now. I needed to be here for Saige. 

"I want to say I know but I don't. I don't know if he is going to be ok. I want him to be but this- this kind of thing has never happened. I have never seen my brother like this. Not even when the divorce was going on." She looked up at me, seeing my eyes slightly widen. "My biological dad and mom divorced and then things got really crazy. A lot of stuff was going on and he stayed strong the entire time. He was the only thing that kept mom and I happy sometimes. Bowen has always been that way. He's a strong and silent type sometimes but he's still really funny and sweet." She smiled, "Don't ever tell him I said that. I can't deal with his ego getting any bigger."

I laughed at that. I finally got a genuine smile from Saige. I could see the normal her in those dark brown eyes. They were lively like they always were. 

"You know," I said, "I've never seen you be so responsible." 

She laughed, "That's the thing. I'm not." We both laughed. I saw the responsibility that she had shown moments ago quickly fade and her clever quirkiness return. We talked for the rest of an hour before I noticed she was dozing off. I gave her hug, and her head fell on my shoulder as her eyes closed.

I laid her head on a pillow and stood, stretching my legs and back. I had sat for almost two hours. 

I couldn't help but think about Bowen. Yes, I had a right to worry, but my mind was on him a lot. I had noticed that lately, that my head wanted to focus on him. To be honest, he was kinda cute. I never really pay attention to peoples' looks, I don't really care about that. I really only pay attention to how they act. That's all I started caring about after everything happened. That's how I made some really good friends. That's how I began to become friends with Bowen. 

The firsts time I met him I hated everything. I hated every face that I saw and every voice that I heard. His voice was one in about a hundred. It wasn't noticeable, the only reason I said anything was because my mom nudged me to be nice. I was...not. I said two words and shut my mouth. Then he left. 

It was only when I started liking church when I actually got to know him. It wasn't much, I was mostly with Saige. We rarely talk except when he was being funny and showing me some pictures on his phone. I still hadn't seen his special picture...

But today I had seen so much out of a person I knew so much yet so little about. He had gone through a lot of pain, I could tell. The funny thing to me is that he knew the whole situation about me, so why- no how did I not know this about him? Shouldn't I have been a better friend? 

Shouldn't I? 

That one question racked around in my head. That one question filled my with guilt. I knew the answer, but I didn't want to listen to the voice that was telling me that I should have been more attentive. 

I vaguely wondered why I had never heard Saige say anything. She probably didn't know. I doubt her mom had told her about anything that was happening. Did she even know about what Bowen had told me? Did she know what was going on? She couldn't have. 

Why was the word 'not' so big in my vocabulary right now? Now that was a question for later. 

Those thoughts abruptly stopped. My mind went back to something I had thought earlier. I wanted the Bowen I knew and... loved back. Why had I said loved? I didn't love Bowen, did I? No I liked him as a friend. Didn't I already clarify this? There's that 'not' again. But recently, every time I thought of him, my heart gave a little boom. I had noticed it a couple of times, but I never put it together. 

Cassidy Cruce was realizing something she never thought she would think. She had believed that from all of her pain she would forever be bound to the lonely depths that her room had seen. She had dreams yes, but she didn't expect them to come true. But when she was with him, those old thoughts seemed to disappear. She felt safe again. She felt free again. She- no. 

I hadn't felt that in a long time. That time when my life was over, or so I thought. Little did I know that there was a person that I was dying to meet. 

His name was Bowen Davis. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guysssss! 

So about next update I'm not sure when it will be because I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow. I will try to post next Friday but I have no idea if the places wifi will work (last year it didn't). So I will see y'all later!!

Oh yea....WE'RE OUT OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!!

Have a good week!!!!!!!!