The Piano and The Past. /Johnny/

Chapter 19

"Don't go. Please." Youngho repeated his words. He had Nara in his arms to stop her from walking toward Youngjin. "Please."

"Let me go." Nara tried hard to push him away, but he was twice her size so nothing was of help with her tiny body. "Seo Youngho, let me go!"

"I will if you stop seeing him. You will only hurt yourself."

"I won't." She said with watery eyes. "Now let me go. People are staring at us."

He finally noticed that people stared at them. So he let go of his hug. "I just don't want you to get hurt. As much as I want to hate you for playing the instrument I hate... I can't even bring myself to even despise you."

Nara saw sincerity in his words. She knew it must hurt him to know that she played piano after what happened to his mentor. She placed her hand on his cold cheek. "Let me go see him this once, okay?"

"But why?" He stared into her eyes. "Is it not enough that he hurt you?"

"You said it yourself. I need to get out of my comfortable zone." She smiled. "I want to meet him and listen what he wants to say. Then I will say goodbye for the last time."

"Promise?"

She didn't answer and let go of her hand. Nara walked away and Youngho watched her with weary heart.

"Chase her, son." The classical music store owner said to Youngho.

"She's standing still, what am I chasing exactly? She has to move so I can chase her."

--

Nara awkwardly slurped the soup while Youngjin was busy with his phone.

"So, you're not busy today?" She asked. He put down his phone.

"Not really. I have something to do tonight." He smiled. "I just thought I could have dinner with you. It's been awhile since I came back from Japan."

"Ah, yes."

"What were you doing alone in Myeongdong? Wait, you were alone, right? You're used to being alone."

"I, well, not really." She said. "I was with these six boys-"

"Six? Wow, I'm jealous."

Nara glanced at him. "You are?"

"Yeah. I mean, you must be having fun. You're fun to have around."

"I am?" She was confused as he never said that she was a fun person to be with. If any, he always implied that she was boring.

"So who are these boys? Academy friends?"

"They're high school boys. Just happened to know them. Smart and bright kids. They're the ones who are fun to be with." She reminisced the first time she met them at Youngho's house.

"So the boy in high school uniform last time is one of them too?" He meant Jisung, as they once met at the café

"Yes, he is. He's the youngest."

"Don't you feel old being around such young boys? Who knows if they have a crush on you."

Nara recalled the time Haechan joined the boys. "Not really. If anything, they make me feel younger." She said. "And if they do have a crush on me, what can I do."

He chuckled. "Now I'm really jealous." His face then became a bit serious. "What happened to us, really? I miss you so much."

She couldn't help but feeling slightly happy when he said that. "You did all of this." But she managed to stay calm.

"Can we try it once again? You and me? I've been such a fool for letting you go." He softly smiled at her. "Am I still in your heart?"

Nara felt her heart could burst any moment.

--

Youngho was standing in front of Nara's apartment building when a car drove in. He automatically hid himself. 'Why am I hiding?'

He saw Nara sat next to Youngjin, which made him clenched his jaws. "Hurry, get off his car."

But then Youngjin's face came closer to Nara. He kissed her.

He couldn't believe his eyes and looked away. His heart felt like it was pinched by millions of hands at once. He hit his chest to calm down. "It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt." He kept saying words as if it could make the pain stop.

Nara got off the car and Youngjin drove away. She almost entered the building but stopped at a familiar shadow.

"I know you're here." She said.

"So, h-how did it g-go?" He stuttered, trying to pretend he didn't see anything.

"Just that. I'm tired." She walked inside.

"So, is it over now? You and him?" He asked loudly.

Nara stopped herself from pressing the elevator button.

"Is it over?" He asked again, in english.

She looked at him. "I don't know."

The four words he wanted the least to hear from her, were said.

Ding!

The elevator doors were opened. Someone was getting out.

Nara took a glance at Youngho again before entering the elevator. She could see he was hurt. As the doors were closing, Nara said, "I'm sorry."

(Few minutes earlier, in the car)

"It's just like the old days. We're driving home together after dinner. Except that time I only had my old motorbike to drive around." Youngjin said.

Nara just sat silenced.

"You still live there with Nayeon?" He asked. Nayeon was younger than Youngjin.

"Yes. We haven't moved."

He drove her to the apartment neighbourhood area. When he entered the front yard, Nara could see a glimpse of Youngho stood alone, warming his hands. But when the car stopped in front of the building, he hid behind the pillars.

'What is he doing here?' She thought.

Youngjin released her seatbelt. "Good luck with the recital."

"Okay."

"I hope you can reconsider us getting back together. I will be very happy to hear that." He smiled. Then he stared at her face for awhile.

He leaned in and kissed her.

Nara's inside was torn between leaving him and kissing him back so they could be together again. But Youngho's words snapped her back to reality.

'...That you're too comfortable to feel that you're hurting yourself. It will pile up when you're away from that Kim Youngjin guy.'

His words echoed in her head that it made her seeing Youngho kissing her, not Youngjin. She pushed him away. "I'm sorry. I need some time to think clearly."

"Okay. Have some rest." Youngjin patted her hair.

She got off the car and contemplated whether to talk to Yougho or not. She felt more safe with him. It made her thinking hard, that a guy she knew for a long time could only make her cry, yet a guy she knew a month ago could make her feel warm.

'I must be going crazy.'

She took a few steps before saying. "I know you're here."

And seeing his face after a long day made her feel safe.