Spare Me

19. Fighting the Past

Two days later and everything is fine, the picture is gone and Spike and dad seem to be doing alright, the only thing I have left to worry about, Jack and my mother and my father. Oh is that it? There was a crash downstairs. I ran downstairs begging it was not another photo.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP BRINGING THAT UP?" Spike yelled

"BECAUSE YOU'RE DANGEROUS AND RECKLESS AND A HORRIBLE INFLUENCE FOR ASH!" my dad roared. I turned the corner and walked into the kitchen.

"What is going on?" I yelled

"YOUR BROTHER HAPPENED OF COURSE!" Dad yelled

"ME YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUST HAD TO BRING UP MY JAIL TIME!" Spike yelled back

I stepped in between them and held my hands out.

"I don't care what happened to drop it! I have to meet with Linda. When I get back the house should look the same- no what spike you're coming with me." I snapped and dragged spike to the door, I opened it and Ethan was there with his hand up like he was about to knock.

"Good you're here let's go."

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"Hello, Linda!" I sang putting my bag down. "Brought Ethan.......and spike!"

Her face turned to shock and horror, the normal reaction when you meet Spike.

"So in other news, I've been great no jack so I will just be on my merry little way and-"

"Sit onyx!" she snapped. I scowled and plumped my but onto a church.

"Your father said you visited your old house?"

"Yup," I said bored and started to play with my necklace.

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Ummm, sad," disappointed in my mother.

"Why did you go back? After all these years?" she put the tip of her pen on the new line of paper waiting for me to start talking. Well, shit, I could go with I think my mom was an occultist or plan B............ I have no B.

"Onyx? Why did you go back?" Linda asked again like I was four.

"I went back to see if something was there ok!?'' I snapped, annoyed.

"What were you looking for?"

I bit my lip, oh nothing just a pentagram that I think my mother drew to summon Satan.

The photo! The photo I found of ash!

" I remembered an old photo of my mother and Ash and I wanted to see if it was still there," I said hopefully not to eagerly.

"Ok, did you find the photo?" she asked crossing her left leg over the other.

"Yes," I mumbled slumping back on the couch, twirling my necklace.

"And did the photo make you feel?"

"Enough!" I yelled jumping up. Everyone jumped at my words. "Just because Ethan and Spike are here doesn't mean you get to play tv therapist. Please. Just do a normal routine,'' I begged falling back down on the couch. She nodded her head.

"Alright, then I want to try something new. I've been waiting for you to get your memories back on your own but I think it's time I help you,"

I froze.

"It's your job supposed to be getting my memories back? Curing the past and all that?"

"No my job is supposed to check in with make sure your healing,"

My face fell into my hands. After years of not knowing I liked the not knowing part. With everything that I've learned since then, I don't know what will pop up.

"I wanna try hypnosis," she said leaning toward me.

"No, no, no," I said it so fast I wondered if she heard me, I stood up and inched toward the door.

"That's the brain, you don't know what will happen, I could start to see him all the time. I don't want to see him all the time!" I bolted for the door but hands clasped around my waist. I turned my head and saw that Spike was pulling me back to the couch. I struggled but his time in prison outweighed my lack of muscle. He got my butt on the couch and the laid his body on my lap.

"Onyx I promise you won't see jack, just the fire," her voice was soft with pity for the poor girl who can't remember her mother's last words, pity for the girl whose brother murdered a man at the ripe age of nine, for the girl who went crazy.

She pulled out a pocket watch, it was silver and so was the chain. She put a good distance between the watch and the chain and swung it in front of my eyes. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and protest but I was too tired to fight, slowly sleep grew near. My eyesight went blurry and then to foggy then the fog turned to blackness.

"Onyx, think back to the fire 10 years ago. Think back to your mother and grandmother and your 10th birthday," Linda's voice was slow and a little creepy, like in the movies, it was her normal soft, creamy like a voice that made her easy to talk too. Slowly flashes of orange and black filled the blackness and I was thrown back into my 10-year-old body.

"Onyx what do you see?"

"The house, before it went up in flames," I couldn't tell if I was murmuring or yelling but she must have heard me.

"Who's with you?"

"No one I'm alone."

I looked around I was in my room, it smelled of fresh paint but I didn't care, it was mine.

Then a new smell wafted in, smoke. I ran downstairs and the basement door was open. Smoke was blowing out, dark smoke that was black, not gray.

"mommy? " I cried out coughing, I grabbed three towels from the kitchen, I held one to, my mouth like they taught us at school and started down the stairs. I hear yelling and I started to run. The first thing I saw was my grandma's gray hair in a braid down her back.

"Nana?" I called holding out one of the towels for her, she rushed to me and pulled me into a hug.

"You should have left things alone Kathrine! You should have protected them!" she yelled behind her shoulder, Katherine, my mother.

"You know what Alice and I had to do to make up for the car crash. I told you not to get attached to them. I told you that from the day I found out," my mother came around the corner. Mom, her always straight blond hair was wild, like she was in the wind, her piercing blue eyes look haunted. Her slim figure shook with coughs. I ran to her and held out the towel, she greedily took it.

"Mommy I'm scared," I whimpered.

"I know honey put he'll help you," she smoothed my hair. I saw a shadow round the corner.

"Mommy someone is in there," I pushed past her and rounded the corner. The pentagram was on fire. I ran back to my mother.

"Mommy we have to go!" I pushed her back, put she stayed put.

"Honey wait,' she said

"Yes wait!" a dark voice said behind me, I a voice I knew all too well. Jack.

My Nana grabbed my arm and we ran upstairs, we were at the door when something grabbed me, Jack grabbed my shoulder.

"no!No!NO! Get away from me get away!" I yelled.

"Onyx wake up!" Linda yelled. The old house faded and the blackness. I could feel someone wrapped their hands around me. I thrashed against them and slowly my vision cleared back to Linda's office. My eyes were blurry and my cheeks were wet. I looked up the person I was trying to fight was Ethan. I stopped fighting and cried into his chest.

"You said I wouldn't see him! You said I would just see the fire!" I yelled.

"I-am-sorry you should have, it must go deeper than we thought," she stuttered.

"Ethan I want to go home. Can I go home," I whined.

"Yeah baby let's get you home,"

He picked up me up and walked me to his car, as I soaked his shirt in tears.