We're Holding On To Tomorrow

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Vic's POV is wayyyy overdue oops

NOT EDITIED

Vic's POV

It's getting bad again. The thoughts. I don't think they've ever been this bad before. I've thought about killing myself but not once have I actually wanted to do it. Well, there's a first for everything. It's currently 2:01, thank god for the clock in our room, and I'm laying in bed with tears prickling my cheeks. Kellin was across the room, snoring in his bed. It's kind of cute if you ask me. I think I'm beginning to come to the terms that I like Kellin, way more than a friend. Way more. But I doubt he would ever like me back honestly, he doesn't need more problems in his life. I still can't forget about that night. When we snuck out and watched the stars. When we held hands. When I told him I like him but he didn't seem to get it. And time seemed to stop when I looked into his eyes. If I'm not mistaken, they were kinda hazel blue? Beautiful nevertheless. It's not just his looks that's perfect. Everything he does seems to have a certain grace to it. Like he's floating around? I don't even know what's coming out of my mouth. Wait. But I'm not talking, I'm saying it in my head. So it's coming out of m- You know what? Nevermind, let's go back to reality.

I rolled over on my bed so I wasn't facing Kellin anymore but the window instead. Maybe, just maybe, if I could get a couple hours of sleep then I'll be just fine.

***


I'm currently grabbing breakfast and heading to the usual table. Today, everyone including Kellin is eating together. This is really rare considering most of us are either forced to be somewhere else or wander about.

"Did you guys hear about the new nurse?" someone asked.

"What about her?"

"I hear she's crazy hot. I think her name's Ayalla."

"Nice. Too bad I'm gay," I say.

Suddenly, Kellin spits out his milk, causing everyone to bust out laughing, even Kellin himself.

"QUIET," one of the nurses yell.

We immediately stifle our laughter, trying extra hard not to look at each other. The bell rings and we all let out a huge breath of relief.

"Why do all of the nurses have sticks up their asses today? Jeez." Tony muttered causing all of us to laugh again.

"Okay but on the serious note, did anyone ever find out why we were on lock-down yesterday?" I asked. Tony, Kellin and Mike gave me a blank stare, giving me my answer.

"Maybe Doctor Hayley will talk about it during group sessions today." Kellin said.

"Yeah..maybe."

I walked to the rec room and took a seat next to some kid with gauges. I think his name is David, maybe Dave? I don't know but it's one of those. He's pretty nice, I mean we don't talk that much but I know he's categorized with my brother which has to suck. The druggies are treated like shit here, apparently they don't have real problems and they're just screw ups. That's how most of the staff treat them which makes me so pissed but it's whatever.

"Uh it's Vic right?"

"Huh?"

"Sorry man, you were staring at me and it was getting kinda creepy." Gauges kid chuckled at me causing me to lush from embarrassment. God, why am I like this.

"Sorry I was just thinking." I replied.

"No no it's fine. I was just making sure everything is okay."

"We're in a mental hospital. Is the word 'okay' even allowed here?" I scoffed.

"You have a point."

"Victor, Dave, do I need to separate you two?" One of the nurses asked. So his name is Dave, cool.

"No ma'am."

"Okay well please quiet down boys."

I nodded and gave my undivided attention to Doctor Hayley who was rambling about something.

"Doctor Hayley, can you tell us why we were in lock-down yesterday?" I spurt out. The question has been on my mind all day and I couldn't keep my curiosity in any longer.

"Someone drugged one of our patients in the Drug and Alcohol Abuse group. He is currently in the ICU under critical condition. There is going to be a meeting about it later on today that will explain everything."

"Is he a patient from our wing?" One of the Andy's asked. Doctor Hayley nodded. I looked around the room and noticed that Oliver was meaning and he's in the DAA group.

"Wait..so if he was drugged by a patient then that means he was drugged by..one of us in this very room?!" The other Andy asked. Only patients from Wing B can be in the Wing B hall so that means it has to be one of us.

"Now I don't want to believe that it was a patient but if it was then yes, it could be possible that a Wing B patient did it." My breath faltered, one of my friends could have done this. Someone might die because of one of my friends. How does one even get drugs in here anyways. It's a fucking mental hospital for fucks sake.

"Alright well you all should be getting back to your rooms. No roaming the halls do you understand?" Everyone nodded.

"Alright, on you go." Doctor Hayley sighed and ushered us out of the rec room. I walked to my room with Kellin slowly trailing behind me. Once we got to the room I softly shut the door and flopped onto my bed.

"Who do you think did it?" Kellin asked me.

"Honestly, I don't know. There's only a handful of people that I know in the DAA group."

"Like who?"

"Uhh Ronnie, Dennis, Dave, my brother, Oli, Austin." I listed the names of everyone from the DAA group that I could think of.

"None of them would do anything like that though." Kellin said innocently.

"Would they though?"

Oh boi, shits about to get intense. Also, I'm sorry for the lack of kellic + perrentes. I don't want everything in this story to be super quick you know?

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