A Past Life: The Tape

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(Child abuse/neglect mentioned, death mentioned, murder mentioned)

I'm very happy with my life. I get to help out my boyfriend in his Lab, which is also where we live. Dr. Wingding Gaster, the monster I fell in love with. I moved in with him at the Lab and we live and work together, though he does most of the work since I'm not exactly a scientist. Though I am learning a lot by helping him out.

I don't really know much about him. As in, I know everything about him, except the person he was before I met him. I met him while working with Alphys, the retired Royal Scientist, she lives with her wife Undyne now but still comes in four days a week to assist Gaster. Alphys had opened a door to the Void, she said her old partner and the original Royal Scientist, Gaster, had been trapped there. I went in for her since my body would be more stable. Monsters are made mostly of magic, humans are mostly of physical matter, I would have a better chance of surviving. I went in and I found him, he was a goopy mess when I found him and it honestly freaked me out a little. After a few hours, we got him out. After being out of the Void for a few days he began to regain his physical form, he stabilized and wasn't goopy anymore. But some things didn't change, like the two cracks in his skull. But I don't mind them, I think it's charming.

Right now Alphys and Gaster were off in the Lab, working on his experiments. I was goofing off with the security cameras, trying to see how far back they've recorded. I was just curious to see how long this thing had been here. I went back, all the way back to when I first got Gaster out of the Void, then further. Back to when I first met Alphys, I smiled at the memories. Then, it stopped. I furrowed my eyebrows, these security cameras are ancient, they go back way longer than that, they have to, they've been here forever. I wondered if there were any other security tapes laying around that had the older film. I noticed one of the drawers in here was locked, I wasn't a snoop so I never noticed the locked drawer before. After checking all the other drawers, I pulled out my master key and unlocked it. I grinned when I saw three tapes.

One I recognized as a tape of me, the one Alphys made when she recorded my journey from the Ruins to the Lab. The other one I recognized as a tape I made of Undyne's proposal to Alphys. It was really romantic! But the third, the writing on the side was in wingdings, which I sadly haven't learned to read. I took the tape and began to play it.

I watched the monitor as it showed Gaster adjusting the cameras, probably putting them in for the first time. He looked a little younger, but just as nerdy. I soon noticed another skeleton was with him, a woman. I knew exactly who she was once I noticed the rings on their fingers and saw them kiss. He was married once, and he never told me. I frowned as I fast-forwarded through their married life. He seemed so happy and care-free. I soon watched her pregnancy, my eyes widened when I heard the name of their son, "sans". And their second child, "Papyrus". I never would of guessed they were related, he never told me they were his kids, sans seems to hate him and Papyrus has no clue who he is. I knew sans and Papyrus were brothers, but I never would of thought Gaster to be their father.

I fast-forwarded again, wondering what was going to happen to his family that made everything the way it is now. I saw a child walk in, a human one. The kid couldn't of been more than five or six years old, I watched him play with sans and Papyrus for a few hours, before a cage of purple bones surrounded him. Gaster trapped the child. I watched him and his wife argue over the child. He wanted to experiment on the child for science, his wife wanted to let him go since he wasn't hurting anyone. Gaster didn't care. I watched as he took the child away and began to preform horrendous experiments on him. The child cried out for his parents, his brother, for anyone to help him. But soon, the child died. His SOUL emerged, Gaster had it sent to Asgore. My eyes widened at how easy it was for Gaster to commit senseless murder in the name of science.

I fast-forwarded it some more to a few days later, him and his wife were arguing again, she seemed paler and thinner. I watched the days go past, they stopped talking to each other. And eventually, his wife died. She had been very weak, apparently sans had been sick and so she was using her magic to heal him but it effected her HP to do so, she only had 1 HP. Just like sans. Days passed, days turned to weeks. Gaster hardly spoke to his own children. I watched sans grow up, becoming the caretaker Papyrus needed. He learned to change diapers, to give baths, to feed Papyrus, and to keep him entertained. That poor kid. I felt my own maternal instinct kicking in, I wanted to rescue them and take care of them. But I was too late.

I watched Gaster's experiments on the SOUL and with DETERMINATION get more and more extreme. He would experiment on human children until they died, then send their SOULs to Asgore. He would experiment on monsters too, criminals who had been thrown in the dungeon for life, he would torment them to death. I watched humans and monsters of all kinds cry out for help, beg for Mercy, and ultimately die. All while sans would still smile and greet his father every morning, unaware of his father's work, oblivious to what his father was so busy with, and still patiently waiting for the day Gaster would look up and notice him. I watched this go on for months, eventually Gaster learned to keep his victims alive longer all while growing harsher on them.

I watched sans give up entirely. He was probably a teenager at this time, Papyrus was just a child. He stopped greeting his father, he spent all his time and energy with Papyrus, helping him grow and teaching him things, playing with him and loving him. Gaster stopped being their father. No wonder Papyrus hardly knows who Gaster is and sans hates him. I bet Papyrus doesn't even know Gaster is their father. I furrowed my eyebrows as I watched time pass. Murder after murder, sans growing up and realizing what his father was really doing, Papyrus still oblivious to everything. I watched it all. I watched sans pack his bags, pack Papyrus' bags, and move out the moment he turned 16. Papyrus was only 13. "*it'll be fun! we'll live in a nice house in Snowdin, i got a job at Grillby's, and you can have all the free fries you can eat!" I watched them leave.

The next morning, the only person who noticed they were gone was Alphys. Gaster didn't notice until a week later, Alphys told him what happened and Gaster said, "Well, sans is growing up, he had the right to move out. And if Papyrus wanted to tag along then that's fine as well." That night, he cried for five hours straight. Serves you right, bastard, neglecting your own children and driving them away. Don't act like you care now, fuckwad! I then remembered, that fuckwad is my boyfriend. I shook my head, there's no way this is the same guy.

I watched as Gaster went on a downhill spiral, finally realizing how his own actions hurt his family, trying to make sense of his own life, trying to understand the consequences of his work, trying to find a solution. He lost his wife because he was too busy with work to help heal sans, the death of his wife pushed him into even more work, wanting to distract himself and consume himself with it so he doesn't have the face the reality of an empty place in his bed. His work then made him lose his children, as his neglect pushed them away. "Work, work, WORK! All I ever do is work and now everyone is gone! Did I really trade my family for this?!" He began to smash things, break things, burn papers. I watched as he stormed into his Lab area, finishing off his victims and sending Asgore two more SOULs.

Could this be the same man I pulled out of the Void? Could this really be the father of sans and Papyrus? A murderous asshole, is the same smiling man who's turtlenecks I wear every night to bed. Who sleeps beside me. Who's gentle nature stole my heart. Is this really him?

And as the tape ended, everything made sense now. How does a genius accidentally fall into his own creation? How does Dr. W. D. Gaster somehow fall into the CORE and get trapped in the Void? How does a man of remarkable achievement and prestige become trapped in a world of nothingness?



Easy.

Dr. Wingdings Gaster never fell into the CORE.

He jumped.

























I heard a deep chuckle behind me.

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